Exterior Lala's Argentine Grill

Lala’s Argentine Grill is a cozy Argentinian (duh!) restaurant located at 11935 Ventura Blvd. Studio City, CA 91604, and their telephone number is 818-623-4477. Usually when you hear “cozy”, it typically means small (i.e.: Redmanthatcould, your penis…it’s so…cozy), and that’s exactly what I mean with Lala’s. When I visited, it was on a Friday night at the Studio City location; they also have a 7229 Melrose Ave. Los Angeles, CA 90046 (telephone: 323-934-6838). The lovely Christina served us, who is pretty Asian girl that had to placate my brother Lenny during our meal, and even more so while we waited for our bill.

They offer valet parking at $3.50 a pop, and while street parking is kind of tough on the weekend, there’s still potential for it if you want to avoid the five spot (after tip) to the valet chimp. There’s covered outside seating, which probably would have been more comfortable since it didn’t look nearly as cramped as the inside seating. Not to say the inside seating was terrible, but you definitely hear what all the other tables are talking about.

Interior Lala's Argentin Grill

Lala’s is not exactly upscale – is there upscale in the San Fernando Valley? – but you definitely don’t want to show up in a t-shirt and jeans. There’s dark lighting with candles on the tables, and they have just a few paintings on the wall. I think they probably want your attention to be on cool wire art hanging from the ceiling. Our service was great, both from our waitress and the food wenches that helped her bring out the entrees.

Prices range from $15 – $35 an entree, and their menu is heavy on the meat dishes, with a wide variety of steaks. Our table ordered some appetizers, which left a little to be desired, so I didn’t even take note of what they were. The meat and potatoes of their menus is their meat and potatoes. I chowed down on the Angus steak, which came with a delicious red wine sauce and mashed potatoes. I definitely ordered my steak medium done, but it felt like medium-well; the mashed potatoes were decent – I’ve definitely had better – but they needed salt.

Angus Steak at Lala's Argentine Grill

All in all, it was a good night at Lala’s Argentine Grill. The pricing is reasonable, and the crowd is young – mainly 20s and 30s. Really easy to find the place, even if you aren’t a Valley native, and the $3.50 for valet is practically a deal by itself compared to $10 you’ll spend in an average Hollywood joint. Personally, my biggest complaint was the tight spacing inside. It was literally just a little bigger than some of those $1 Chinese food hole-in-the-walls, but I’m sure when it’s not as crowded during the week, it’s probably unnoticeable. Good place for a relatively inexpensive date.

And I’ll leave you with the obligatory video of the inside of this place. Yes, I know it’s dark, but didn’t I already mention that above???

We went to check out The Belmont restaurant in Hollywood, located at 747 N La Cienega Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90069, and I must say I was pleasantly surprised. For starters, this place is in Hollywood – and you should already know my very vocal aversions to Hollywood – then I also find out that we had to make a reservation. This is about 1.7 strikes already (I hate the location and I hate making reservations), but Belmont made a comeback with their service and great (affordable) eats. Pretty unrelated…but as I was driving through Studio City, I noticed a group of people gathering to protest the war…which to me is a bit strange, especially in the San Fernando Valley, so I felt obligated to share a picture:

Hippies Running Amuck in a City Near You!

A Friday night for a busy street in Hollywood usually means there will be plenty of sluts, packs of sausage roaming around together, and potential “celebrity” sightings. The Belmont certainly lived up to those expectations. Our reservation was for 8 p.m., but it was pretty unnecessary – the place was maybe at 40% capacity. Don’t expect to find any street parking other than scouring the side streets around the area; valet was 7 dollars.

The Belmont: Eat Drink Smoke - Amen!

When we first got in, I spoke with EJ (one of the waiters), and received some information about the place. During the week, the kitchen will typically close at 11 p.m., and is open about another hour after that on the weekend. He mentioned that the place next door is a trendy nightclub, so they (Belmont) typically get busier around 10:30 p.m. with the overflow from people who can’t get in to the other place. EJ also dropped some personal knowledge on me, saying that he ate at The Belmont on vacation, then a year later he moved to L.A. and had to work there because the mac & cheese left a lasting impression on him. That mac & cheese is fucking wicked, I will admit; I’m a big time mac & cheese lover, and theirs knocked flavor right on it’s ass. Did I mention they add in some delicious crab to their already perfect mac & cheese? Mmm…getting hard just thinking about it again.

Mouth-Watering Chicken Breast

When the food came, so did I. Holy shit do they have some fucking tasty grub. Our table was 8 strong, and all you could hear were “mmms” left and right; I had the chicken, someone else had the halibut, another person had the filet mignon…everyone was extremely satisfied. My mashed potatoes were beautifully-delicious, super-soft and creamy (yes, yes…too easy to add a metaphor); for Pete’s sake – even the asparagus was great! Quite literally I don’t remember the last time I had a $20 plate of anything that could get my nipples hard with excitement from anticipating every next bite. Most of the meals were in the $20 price range, with only the filet being in the $30s. If after we finished the meal, they decided to charge double for everything, it would have still been a value for the party in my mouth (and pants, of course) they provided. I didn’t touch any of the dessert, but from the facial reactions of the girls with us, and the fact that none of the dishes were left with enough food to discern what was once on them, I’d say the desserts were also amazing.

Instant Heart Attack

The restaurant has outside seating, a bar in the main room (where the majority of the tables were), and a secondary bar in a smaller, adjacent room. Our waiter was on top of his shit, and the wait from the kitchen was hardly noticeable. When we went, it was still a little Christmas-y, so they had lights hanging from the walls – one of them was dangling near one of my friends, and they did not hesitate to move them out of her way when I asked. During our meal, the music was a good volume, and whenever I noticed that there was music on, it was something I either enjoyed or could stand. Then they turned down the lights (11 p.m., roughly) when people started to focus more on getting their drink on than getting their food on, and it got loud with absolutely terrible music selections one-after-another. My guess is that earlier they played music off of CDs, and then their DJ showed up to ruin my perfect image of The Belmont. In any case, if you want a place to get fucked up with better jams, this place would not make your top five choices, even with the side bar acting as a rogue instigator to drinking.

The Belmont Main Bar

So to round out the evening, we worked our way over the side bar for a couple drinks (which is what it is there for, if I were to take a stab at their business plan). There was only one bartender, and no barback, so even though there were only 20 or so people in the area, the service was not speedy. From my perspective, the side bar died down considerably around midnight, and then got absolutely packed about half an hour later. To me, it was pretty strange seeing a literal sine wave of patronage, but then again I’m not a Hollywood person, so this might be par for the course. As I alluded to earlier, there was some choice puss in and out of this place, especially when the action picked up near the end of our stay. Our sole “celebrity” sighting was from no other than Cedric Yarbrough, who plays Deputy S. Jones on Reno 911!, who seemed to be a regular based on the connection I saw between him and the barkeep.

I'm a lover not a photographer, but this is the outside seating

I hate that The Belmont is in Hollywood, because if it were in the San Fernando Valley, it would easily turn into a regular spot for me. That being said, I do plan on going again in the future, which is HUGE for me to admit to. I gotta keep pushing my point that places are better off sticking to one thing they do very well, than stretching their expertise too thin. Luckily, The Belmont kicks major amounts of ass as a restaurant, so even though it sucks as a bar, there is still lots of reason to check it out. While there was plenty of puss and sausage to go around, I would not recommend going here to try to get your swerve on. If you want a fucking amazing meal, at a very reasonable price, then The Belmont is for you. Great for any dates, a place to start your evening, or if you’re looking to have a good meal in a relaxed setting. Enjoy!

The Rack is stacked – get it? Thanks.

Anyhow…The Rack is a pool hall / bar / restaurant located at 6100 Topanga Canyon Blvd #2160 Woodland Hills, CA. Unlike ONE Sunset, even though The Rack has many faces, it is pretty good at each, with the restaurant section clearly segmented away from the pool hall / bar section. It is pretty much whatever you want it to be, whenever you need – restaurant by day, sports bar for NFL / NCAA games, or a pool hall / bar for some fun nightlife.

The Rack: Pool Hall / Sports Bar / Restaurant

This is a fun spot in an otherwise dead part of the San Fernando Valley, which is conveniently located right next to the AMC 16 theater, so you can either get nice and toasty before a movie, or make it a movie / pool date. Their drink specials are very appealing for those on a budget, but they also offer top shelf selection. Bartenders and waitresses are laid back and friendly, and you won’t be waiting forever to get your drink on.

The Delicious Pool Hall Area

We were at The Rack on a Saturday night, and while it was busy I wouldn’t say it was packed. The crowd is mixed with some people dressing up while others don’t give a shit. Plenty of decent-looking people to pick from; no super hotties like a Hollywood type establishment, but you will not be disappointed by the selection. Music is all controlled by the building, and they played a nice array of 90s and present day favorites. You will notice some really cool images on the walls, including this one I really enjoyed:

Painting of Jazz Band Playing on the Wall

I found it kind of funny that they had to really lay out their “dress code” by etching it on the glass next to the front door. In case you are concerned, this is what it said:

Dress Code enforced after 6pm.
Buttoned Shirts Preferred

• No Tank Tops
• No Caps
• No Overly Baggy Pants
• No Team Apparel
• No Printed T-Shirts
• No foul language tolerated

That last one makes me chuckle, and I love chuckling. If you thought I was joking about their drink specials earlier, check out just a few of the ones I jotted down:

• $5 Premium Long Island Ice Tea – All Day / Every Day
• $3 Jose Cuervo Margaritas – All Day / Every Day
• $3 American Honey Shots – 8p.m to 9pm / 10pm to 11pm / 12am to 1am
• $5 Bee Sting Shots (Wild Turkey Whiskey + American Honey Liqueur) – 8p.m to 9pm / 10pm to 11pm / 12am to 1am
• $5 Irish Honey Shots (Jameson Irish Whiskey + American Honey Liqueur) – 8p.m to 9pm / 10pm to 11pm / 12am to 1am
• $3 Coors Light Draft $20 Buckets of 6 Coors Banquet Bottles – During NFL Games Mondays / Thursdays / Sundays
• $20 Buckets of 6 Miller Lite & Miller Genuine Draft 64 Bottles – During all NCAA Games Saturdays

I took a short video before I got too hammered to operate my camera. Have a look at The Rack for yourself:

The Rack is definitely a place I would go back to, and I did shortly after to try out their grub. Main reason I had to go back to try out the restaurant section was because they stop serving food at 10p.m., which is not too unusual for a multi-faceted place. Being a huge fan of macaroni & cheese (I know – I have an exotic tongue), I had to give their “world famous” Rack Mac a whirl. It wasn’t bad, but the cheese was a bit too zesty for me. We also had their wings, which were scrumptious, and my buddy, The Good Reverend, seemed to enjoy his burger as well.



The Rack's Restaurant Section

Truth be told, I only have two small gripes with The Rack, but I might be just searching for something. One thing I didn’t like was that they didn’t have a designated smoking area, which means whenever you walk in or out you are faced with shuffling through the random smokers outside. The other thing I wasn’t too keen on was that the restaurant section is technically outdoors (kind of), but it is basically all enclosed, with only a small portion of the overhead not being covered by a roof. Just seems like that’s a bad idea even for the 6 times a year it rains in Los Angeles. All in all, I’d say their motto is pretty spot on from what I experienced:



Where Entertainment and Fine Dining Collide

Chimney Sweep Lounge is a fun and young locals dive bar, virtually hidden in a shopping center, located at 4354 Woodman Ave Sherman Oaks, CA 91423. In fact, I remember when I lived in the area, and had trouble finding it at first, but it was certainly worth the hunt. “The Sweep” as you will eventually call it, after going a few times, is the kind of place that if you dig it, you will turn into a regular. While my group of friends really likes Chimney Sweep, I can’t say it is for everyone, or even for every evening.

The Sweep has an authentic dive bar feel, that is mixed with a young, attractive crowd, good music, and stiff drinks. When you get there, notice the old time register they use, and the vests the bartenders wear. My main beef with Chimney Sweep, which is probably of no concern to the bar itself, is that it has gotten too popular for it’s size.

Their outside smoking patio is small, which makes it home to tons of random conversations, so long as there are not 20 people standing out there, because then it turns into a zoo. One annoying policy they have, that I have always had a gripe with, is that they do not allow any drinks on the patio after midnight. In my professional opinion (read: right out of my ass), I do not think this has anything to do with any city ordinances, but rather just a way to maintain a safe atmosphere as the evening (and binge drinking) continues to flow.

Who Needs Friends when you have Beer?

There is a really small staff, so try your best not to piss anyone off, since they will most likely see you again next time you come in. Not to say they are going to drop a deuce in your Guinness, but you might be waiting quite some time for that [Pulp Fiction]tasty beverage[/Pulp Fiction]. Rick is the main bartender, and he is not the friendliest guy in the world. That being said, I think he gets a bad wrap by some people who think that because he does not talk much, means he is an ass. Simply put, Rick does not want to deal with your shit; you treat him right, and you will not even notice any potential for a bad side.

When Life Gives you Lemonade, have Popcorn

Expect to see a lot of young San Fernando Valley kids, looking to have a good time, smoke a little crack (smoking crack is optional) and land themselves a warm body for the night. Occasionally you will see a cougar swing through, who will tell you she can show you the world like you have never seen it, but it is very much a 20-somethings dive bar. The trouble (and luxury) with the music is that it depends on the crowd, as the juke box is controlled by the bar-goers. That being said, rarely will you hear any music that makes you want to hurl, but sometimes you will hear some lame shit. It happens – just drink more (as they say, “Drink to forget”).

Flipping the Bird, Dr. Jonathan Style

The mixed drinks are affordable, and they have a wide selection of draft beer. But be mindful when you order some of the more exotic mixed drinks, as a Rum & Coke might run you five buck (the “s” intentionally omitted, of course) but an Irish Car Bomb will run you twelve buck. I think it is pretty clever that I referred to an ICB as an “exotic” drink – shows you how high class I am. One cool thing you will notice when you go deposit your beer, is that they have signs in the restrooms saying they will not be increasing their prices next year.

Old School Meets New Whores at Chimney Sweep

While there is a pool table, there is not a whole lot of room around the table, which makes it a bit inconvenient to play.

Rack 'Em Up, Ladies

For those of you that are awesome, I liken the pool table setting to the episode of Seinfeld where Frank and Kramer shoot pool in a cramped room. For those of you that are not quite that awesome, fear not, as a delicious YouTube-r has come to your rescue:

So let’s just say that if you are looking to do something beyond talking, drinking, or smoking on the patio, then you’d probably be better off with the electronic darts than the pool table.

Drunk People make the Best Baby Sitters

Chimney Sweep is very much a regulars dive bar, and you will get special treatment if the staff recognizes you. That being said, if you are not an asshole, you will still be taken care of. There is always a fun, attractive crowd, and you will usually strike up random conversations either at the bar, at the tables, or on the patio. For your first visit, I might recommend that you go on a slower night – say Tuesday or Wednesday – just so you can get a good feel for the bar, and the staff. Then when you come back on a busier night, you will already feel like a regular, and all the chicks will think you are the shit (note – author is not responsible for chicks not thinking you are the shit, sport).

As a special treat, I will clue you in on why we were at the Chimney Sweep this particular night. We went to celebrate the birthday of Dr. Jonathan C. Goodvibes, for his big 2-5. w00t w00t! It ended up being about 20 of us taking a big section of the tables. To give you an idea of the type of people to expect at the Sweep: there were two guys sitting at the lone table right next to our large group, that we did not secure, and they got up (of their own accord) and sat at the bar to give us more space. I thought that was a really cool gesture, and felt like sharing (go me!).

Here is a video I took of most of the people with our group (some cower in fear), trying to get everyone to do/say something sexy for the good doctor, on his night of nights. I realize it is dark, but give me a break – it is a dive bar: