CTRL + D · 
How the Sluts Stole Halloween
October 19, 2009 by Psych
Filed under Current Event
The concept of sluts on Halloween is far from new, but while others appreciate the Halloween sluts, I tend to disagree. We all know that when it comes time to play dress up, women have a tendency to want to dress down. The less they can wear the better. That isn’t what bothers me. What bothers me is that they stole Halloween.
What is Halloween?
Does anyone eat this? Seriously.
Before the Halloween tradition was started, going around to your neighbors houses and demanding their food was considered thievery. Costumes were used so that people wouldn’t know who was robbing them. This all changed when the Candy Corn industry was born. Inventive consumers realized that if they kept their houses stocked with Candy Corn that no one would rob their houses, since not even the most desperate of people would eat it. However, they also realized that if people didn’t buy Candy Corn after their initial purchase, there would eventually be no Candy Corn to repel thieves. And so, Halloween was invented to keep the Candy Corn industry strong. People give away their Candy Corn to the young as a reminder not to steal food or pay the consequences.
Sluts
Witches wear more clothes
Eventually, people forgot the true meaning of Halloween. They began to think it was a Holiday for children, and that adults weren’t supposed to participate in the Trick or Treating. As time continued to progress, it became weirder and weirder to see people over the age of 12 going out to get candy from their neighbors. The adults (who really just wanted to Trick or Treat) had to find something else to do. As usual, that meant booze, but they kept the costumes. As Peter Parker will tell you, with great booze comes great nudity, and eventually women would remove more clothing from their costumes as the night went on. Since this was so well received, they decided to skip the first step and just not wear much to begin with. Thus, Halloween sluts were born.
Why is this bad?
You might think this isn’t a big deal. After all, everyone loves a slut. But you’re missing the point.
- By forgetting the original meaning, adults will never be able Trick of Treat. That means you won’t be interacting with your neighbors (who could be really hot) and you get less candy for free.
- By encouraging people to be sluts on Halloween, we’re actively discouraging them from being sluts the rest of the year. Very, very sad.
- Getting a girl to strip out of a costume into something nearly non-existent is half the fun of a party. If they start without clothes, there’s no challenge.
So, if you love sluts and Halloween, I suggest we take back the Holiday. Let’s encourage women to be sluts the rest of the year and bring back candy to our Halloween celebrations. Because if you don’t, eventually someone is going to rob your house and steal your food.
Loading ...
Juice on Tue, 20th Oct 2009 8:37 am
Why dress like sluts only one day a year? Well, because it’s the one day when all of us woman can roar! And it’s simply not a roar we want to have EVERYDAY! We can dress as slinky as we so desire, flirt with every man dressed like Beatlejuice, dance in our lingerie all night and still crash safely at our BFF’s house for the night. It’s not like because one night a year we get to go out in our bedroom best we are more likely to invite you back to our place for a little bedroom wrangling, we just get to remind you what you still don’t have. So don’t be such a hater and scrounge up some creativity and get your goofy costume on and get out there and have some god damn fun with it!
Or else you may miss having some slammin woman steal your last bagel as she sneaks out of your place on your average Sunday morning, after you have conquered her challenging wardrobe.
RaCHEL on Sun, 1st Nov 2009 9:07 am
I think it’s sickening how sluts have ruined Halloweeen day for the entire rest of the world. You can’t go out on halloween night after 9 pm because you come across these barely dressed sluts. It’s pathetic and desperate. Mostly, just sadly pathetic. What’s worse is the women who dress up like young girls ie. school girls, etc. This is why we live in a rape culture. This is why every year more and more sexual crimes against children escalate. Its not just halloween, of course. That’s just an example. I’m mostly complaining about grown women portraying themselves as sexy “young” (underage) girls. It’s wrong, and pathetic. Women who dress like this are contributing and solely responsible and also allowing men to be attracted to young girls (underage). Why can’t Halloween be about comstumes and candy? when did halloween turn into a slut fest?