Ladies and gents, as I struggle to see the screen through my swollen tear riddled eyelids, I come to you a little humbled.  I was planning on writing an article about NBC’s ER, and it was going to start a little something like this:
“ Wait, hold on a second…the show is still on the air?!  Season 15!!!  For the love of all that is decent LET MY PEOPLE GO!  Let it die!  How many unfortunate staff accidents and illnesses can we consider plausible and continue to watch!!!…”  Bla bla bla,ad nauseam infinitum.

I am an Ass, which should surprise non of you but I’m glad I at least had the good sense to try and prove how much of an Ass I am only to humiliate myself further to tell you that ER is still a great fracking show.  Let me clarify that a significant tear quotient is by no means the gauge for the quality of a television show, but for a girl that hasn’t watched in…5-7ish years (I honestly can’t remember) I strapped in to watch the first episode of this season chocked full of actors and characters that I had yet to have an opinion about, and 4 episodes in, I have to take a break to let the swelling go down.

Mekhi Phifer’s character I did remember and they killed him in the first episode, so that was a tough way to begin, and then Maura Tierney left and now with the exception of Frank and a few beloved nurses, everyone is new to me and for the most part, I care.  I was expecting John Stamos to give me plenty of negative things to say, being John Stamos and all, but I am pleasantly surprised to report that he doesn’t suck!  He’s the always happy guy which works for him, and when it’s time to be sad…he’s still kinda just the “oh darn” guy, which was a little off putting, but I guess it would be boring if everyone was all booo hooing and snotty faced.  His character is gaining some depth as the season progresses and it’s nice to see.  Angela Bassett joined the cast this season and she’s doing a beautiful job (to no-ones surprise).  Loves it!

I know that this show is very carefully scrutinized by actual ER doctors on staff for accuracy (and bravo to that) but my medical inexperience makes me wonder why almost EVERY patient manages to make it to the ER, rolls in talking and making jokes and then the next moment they are critical and bleeding all over the place.  Not to mention that every doctor has a sad story of something bad that’s happened to them, baggage GA-lore or a freak life threatening episode once every season and a half at LEAST.  I mean REALLY like this is all probable…………oh…………..wait…

It’s TV!

As one of my hero’s says regularly “Real life if boring, nobody wants to watch that”, and he’s right.  I’m not saying that the life of an Emergency Room Doctor is by any means boring but we do need a reason to tune in EVERY week for FIFTEEN YEARS so frankly I give them credit for making me give a rats ass without offering me money and mailing me free booze.  Now for those of you that don’t want to spend the night in hysterics, by episodes 8 and 9ish of this season I was able to put the snotty old t-shirts in the wash (why should the trees suffer tissues because I like drama?).

Not exactly my usual format, but I’ll throw in some bullet points for ya if it will help you decide whether to join me in the SnotFest:

BASIC PREMISE: After 15 years on the air…are you kidding me?

CAST: Great, all of them!

WHAT I DIG: The characters, the stories, the heart.

WHAT I DON’T: Being made to cry so damned much, I look terrible and I’ve eaten nothing but cereal for days.  Someone bring me a salad or something!

WILL IT LAST: Last season and poetic that the creator, Michael Crichton passes away during the last season.  Say goodbye to a great show.

P.S.- Oh crap!  I just got to the end of episode 9…I need another t-shirt!

Who Are They?

Hosted by Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim who first appeared on the adult swim scene with Tom Goes to the Mayor, they are a comedy team who incorporate a live-action, low-tech approach to produce their comedic wares. Their production values are like a colorblind science teacher who daily picks out his own wardrobe, mismatched and yet you are unable to turn away from the spectacle. And when I say that I mean their techniques range from a hokey green screen to good old-fashioned prop devices. Notably with the team, there is no single straight man, fat man or cross dresser. They equally participate in degrading themselves. But it is always amusing to find out where each of them are placed in a sketch or parody.

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!

My Impressions

When it was first described to me, I thought I could handle this. After all, I am an accomplished student of the comedic genre. I know my Python and have written papers on everything from the French New Wave cinema to the origins of the screwball comedy.

But for me, “The Learning” was not enough.

All good sciences push the envelope of what came before them. But not this show, it actually boils down the hard facts to the least common denominator. It melts down technological wisdom and accepted social behavior in a blasting furnace of it’s own design.

It’s almost as if my generation, the 30-40’s crowd, were too smart for everything that came before us. And because of this, we are attempting to hijack our earliest memories and change them. Like we a lost bet and now have to make our past even more deplorable.

For me, the show is like being a forty-year-old going into the waiting room of a 1st year resident proctologist, closing my eyes and imagining I am anywhere else; or tricking my mom into taking me to see a Cheech and Chong movie. The experience is cheap and dirty and not something I would openly share with acquaintances. For others it may be a faint holiday memory of your Dad dressed as Kinko the Clown coming down the chimney and err, well maybe a memory you’d just assume to forget. It is so personal and wrong on so many –levels and for so many reasons, but when the jokes hit you, they hit you hard. I woke my wife up a couple of times to my tear-welled wailings.

Who Should Watch It

Fans of experimental theater and comedy. This is not textbook stuff. If you even remotely liked SCTV or The Upright Citizen’s Brigade you will feel very much at home.

Because like the previously mentioned programs; they don’t just satirize the world around them - they reinvent it. And that is where many will have a problem with them. You are required to have the fortitude to suspend the conventional sitcom dribble and go along for their ride on their terms.

This is a show that takes risks and either swan dives into a perfect comedic wave or belly flops. You will not always laugh…but like a tilt-headed dog you will stare in wonder, look around and see if anyone else thought “that” was funny and then question yourself again.

For The Literary Minded

The theater of the absurd attempted many things. But at its heart was the idea that the audiences’ reaction was as central to the performance as the piece being presented. And Tim and Eric Awesome Show is a contemporary example of this device. You can tune them out like a Beckett play, but you’ll pay patron prices later on for the experience in the form of collected season DVD’s.

Things and People to Look For

Brule’s Rules with Dr Steve Brule: Played by John C. Reilly.

Uncle Muscles Hour: Hosted by Weird Al Yankovic.

Cinco Corp: A clueless commercial conglomerate that produces worthless products and services. One sketch features Ed Begley Jr. in an infomercial for the Cino-Fone.

Bob Odenkirk: who makes appearances in a variety of sketches.

Program Particulars

Having finished their third season, the fourth season is scheduled for February 8, 2009.
Look for it on Cartoon Network. (15-Minute Episodes)

Back in September, the third and final piece of what I think is an epic music experience was born into the world. I’m talking about the album, The Ocean and the Sun, by TSOAF (The Sound of Animals Fighting if you’re nasty).

If you’re not familiar, TSOAF is a project that was formed in 2004 by various members of the bands Circa Survive, Sunn O, RX Bandits, Finch, Atreyu, Never Heard of It, The Autumns, and Days Away. The core members though, are Anthony Green of Circa Survive, with RX Bandits members Chris Tsagakis on drums, Matt Embree on guitar and vocals, and Rich Balling (formerly of RX Bandits) on vocals as well. Rich was also the producer of all the works of TSOAF.

Throughout the bands existence, all the coming and going members (there are more than a dozen) have all had different names of animals attached to their own. On this album, Rich, Matt, Chris, and Anthony, have retained their names of The Nightingale, The Walrus, The Lynx, and The Skunk.

As far as the sound of the music; it’s been a little bit different on each of the three albums, with this one feeling to me like a mixture of Radiohead and The Mars Volta (if I can put it simply at all). What’s interesting is the huge difference between the singing styles of all three vocalists coming together, but still sounding amazing. The combo I found most noteworthy was in the song Blessing Be Yours Mister V at about 2:45. It marks the imminent breakdown in the latter part of the song, which is genius as soon as the beat turns completely digital (you’ll hear what I mean).

If we’re talking favorites here, I would easily say the track The Heraldic Break of the Manufacturers Medallion holds a place in my heart. I’m a sucker for the drum work of Chris Tsagakis, and the random strumming of Embree on guitar. Chris has mastered the art of the triple-bassing, and making you go back and count how many times he’s hitting the pedal. Also, I couldn’t help but feel hypnotized by Anthony Green’s strange hypnotic “Ahhhhhh” noise, after every chorus line “….drop your anchor down, and stay in place..” The echoing Green and drumming of Tsagakis close the song out strongly, while not being too abrupt.

Some people say that this type of music (this band specifically) is a fad. But I say nay. I think that in the case of this band, Green and company are smart, because they gave us something to cherish in their DVD from May 2007. This masterpiece, entitled We Must Become the Change We Want to See, is the final of the four (and only) shows the band performed. What I like about this concept, is that it really makes you appreciate the experience a little bit more. Although I only got to experience the DVD, at points I thought to myself “Wow, that has to be the shit, when Green said ‘This is the last time anyone will ever see this!’ to the crowd”. We, maybe not in that fruity sentence I wrote, but you get the idea. I won’t give away the juicy morsels of the DVD, but it’s worth the buy for sure. If you like live paintings and raving mad, leather clad girls, you’ll get a bonus.

I want to see people taking more of a chance in music. Playing it tame will only last so long. Do we have a revolution on our hands? Maybe so. Dare I say it, but I think we are on the road to having more innovative bands, perhaps the Pink Floyds of my 80’s baby generation.

If you’re still not that interested by my review, then (piss off, and/or) give the new album a listen on their MySpace page (as the entire album was uploaded to it), and you can decide for yourself. I just think it would be good to break you out of your musical shell, and enjoy the artwork gone auditory, The Sound of Animals Fighting.

Until next time friends!

~Flak

In no particular order, and with respect to those lost who did not make the list:

Michael Chrichton

If you’re a fan or not, he did give us Jurassic Park, the beloved book and film franchise and EVERYBODY read that book including people who usually don’t read. The Dino craze may never have become such a craze sparking an important scientific peak had it not been for Chrichton. Among other film projects such as The 13th Warrior (based on Eaters Of The Dead) and Twister, he was also the creator of ER as well for those of you living under the who’s who rock. Going into it’s 14th season, I think it’s safe to say that he wrote a great premise and the story took off.  Emmys, Oscars, PGSs, WGAs, Razzies, most any award for writing Sci-Fi one can receive, one of People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People and he even had a dinosaur named after him. Well loved, and continually inspired by the human condition.

Mike Shanahan with his Team

Long-time Denver Broncos head coach and most recently executive VP of football operations, Mike Shanahan was fired Tuesday. Shanahan was dropped two days after the last day of the regular season, where his Broncos lost a decisive game to division rival, San Diego Chargers. After going 8-5, the Broncos lost their three remaining games, being the only team in NFL history to lead a division every week, and then lose that top spot in the final game. All that being said - what the flying fuck, Denver?

Loyalty, motherfuckers, do you speak it?!

Let’s see…Mike Shanahan was with the Denver Broncos for 14 seasons. Over that span, he had a 61.6 winning percentage, won back-to-back Super Bowl titles in the 1997 and 1998 seasons, and only had two losing seasons in 1999 and 2007. Before being let go on Tuesday, Mike Shanahan was the longest tenured head coach in the NFL, with the next closest being Jeff Fisher of the Tennessee Titans who has 11 seasons under his belt.

There were certainly some obvious firings that were going to take place this off-season, but Shanahan’s name was not on anyone’s radar. In my opinion, this was a horrible decision by the Broncos’ owner Pat Bowlen, and I sincerely hope it bites him square in the ass. On behalf of Mike Shanahan to you, Mr. Bowlen: go fuck yourself and the horse you rode in on.

What makes this even more bizarre is that it even took the players by shock - just imagine your current manager being fired out-of-the-blue, even though he seemed perfect for the job and did it for 14 MOTHERFUCKING YEARS! Broncos’ starting quarterback, Jay Cutler, had this to the Rocky Mountain News after he found out:

I’m disappointed, I’m shocked, I’m not happy about it, I’m not pleased with it at all. We had zero inkling this was going to happen. I didn’t have a clue.

No big deal though, if Cutler becomes too outspoken - which he typically is - just can him too, right? He only racked up the most passing yards of any Broncos QB in 2008, surpassing John Elway’s previous mark, but who cares? It’s business, baby. Right?

Mike Shanahan watching Jay Cutler Throw

The only way there could be any justice in this is if the Kansas City Chiefs pick up Shanahan as their head coach, and he beats the shit out of the Broncos every time they face each other in division games for the next 14 years. I’m not even a Broncos fan and I still feel this is a piece of shit move of epic proportions. I sincerely hope the Broncos’ record drops like a turd next season, you assholes.

Why do I still wait for boys to call me? I swear, it started in 3rd grade, and now, I’m forever trapped in this dumb-ass game of waiting. With cell phones, it’s 10x worse. Girls check their Blackberries every minute hoping to hear that familiar beep beep beep– a harbinger of hope- to bring meaning to their otherwise empty lives.

Obsessing is my specialty, as you should all have figured out by now. It’s like my full time job, which complements my part time Google work, rather nicely.

So, I totally need to expand on this phone etiquette, I realize. The waiting part is the easy chump stuff. But what happens when you finally pick up?

Smart girls who get laid by actual boyfriends and not by one night stands demand that you cannot, by any means pick up on the first ring. If you do, you are saying that you have been staring at that phone, waiting for potentially the last 3 hours willing it to ring. Obviously, you have been, but you don’t want to come across as mental. Save that for the third date.

Wait three rings. Then pick up, but breathless, like you were working out or like you were far away from the phone. This signifies that the last thing on your mind is the phone and the boy. You were working out in Argentina, practically… or maybe you were trekking across the Andes, and you just happened to hear Chris Brown’s “Forever” playing in the distance, and you sprinted over, because it might be an important call from your agent, but instead, it’s only “you.”

Exactly. You wanna give the impression that, “oh, it’s only you.” “Hello, it’s only you.” Let him know that hearing from him is about as exciting as hearing from your mailman or the 7-11 guy… Really not too impressive. He needs to feel like you are way out of his league, especially if it’s the opposite way around. Typically, if you are really liking this guy, he will be!

One additional tip to appear “cooler than you are” would be to pick up, and say, “Hey Steve.” It doesn’t matter what his name is… Just say “Steve.” It’s one of my favorite guy names, and 50% of the Steves I know are hot! That way, your guy will think that ostensibly hot guy Steve has been calling you all day and is relentless in his pursuit of you.

He will feel threatened and immediately ponder, “Who’s Steve?”

You immediately counter- “Oh no one. Just a friend.” And if you’ve ever listened to Biz Markie’s “Just a Friend”, you will know that you just opened up the pot for major jealousy. Niiiiice.

After the initial salutations, there will most likely be an awkward pause, especially if you guys don’t know each other well, and are unsure about what topics are taboo at this point in your relationship. Obvi, avoid things like menstruation, pregnancy, genital warts (or any STD for that matter), midgets, astrology, and colonoscopies.

Safe subjects are work (although it can get boring fast), your plans for later that evening or yesterday, a funny story (but please make sure that it’s actually funny, and not something that will only produce a fake ass recycled laugh… ask me for a demonstration sometime), and an exciting event in the world.

The best subjects, though, are the ones that bring attention to how awesome you are and how everyone wants you. Not how everyone wants to sleep with you. That is only for hookers and slut whores. You can discuss how preposterous it was when you went to the mall today, and you got stopped by a talent agent, who immediately wanted to know if you were represented by anyone. Don’t come off as a conceited bitch. Instead, laugh it off like– “dude, I was like, are you serious? Don’t you mean my friend?” That is a perfect addition to the story, because it will make you seem really down to earth and considerate– as well as give the impression that you have good looking friends… However, don’t let the boy think that your pals are better looking than you… Make sure to finish off with, “Yeah, but the talent agent was like, Nope… I think you’ve got star material.” Hee hee!

Another potential successful conversation would be about how you have this great job. You want to definitely give the impression that you’re not looking for a sugar daddy or someone to take care of you, even though that is exactly what I AM LOOKING FOR, and probably what you’re looking for too. Say you’re a lawyer or work for Google, if you really don’t have a job that you’re proud of. Waitress and Dog Walker just don’t have the awesome points they used to have, even if movies glorify these jobs.

A typical conversation might begin with, “Yea, so my Google boss offered me a raise today… totally excited about that…” I’ve found that, just mentioning the word, “Google” is impressive to most people. The sentence can even be, “I got fired from Google”– but I would still elicit ooohs and ahhhs, because at one point in my life, I was lucky enough to be associated with Google. Cool, huh?

If you need to lie too, that’s cool. I think it’s fine to embellish yourself, after all, if you can’t be satisfied in real life, you might as well be happy in fantasy. It works.

Now is the tough part. You want that date. Whether it’s the first or the third, you are dying for that date proposal, and there is no way you’re about to suggest anything (unless it really is the third date– and you do have a good date idea). You’re waiting and waiting. More stupid shit to fake laugh your way through. Until, you feel the impending doom of “crap, we’ve run out of even the stupid shit.” Alert lights should be flashing. Sirens are going off.

If you’re in a truly desperate situation, you may say, “Gosh, I’m getting hungry… I wonder what I should eat…” The latter part has to come as an afterthought, like you’re not really talking to him. It could be directed to a roommate or your neighbor, who’s probably taking a shower. It has to appear real casual and nonchalant. If you’re terrible at nonchalant, do not attempt. They will see right through you, as fishing for a date.

In an ideal situation, he will say– “I dunno… but I was thinking sushi.”
You say, “What?”
He says,” For dinner, I was thinking sushi?”
You say. “Oh, are you asking me out?”
He says, ” I guess I am.”
You say, “Ok. sure. Pick me up at 8″

Awesome right? Because he totally is the one asking you, even though you suggested the idea of it, but it’s totally him who actually said the crucial words.

So, you’ve clinched the date. Congratulations! The point of that long awaited phone call has been realized. Yay! Now you can make up something about how you have to take your cat to the hospital, or you have to get ready to go to the Playboy Mansion party in your underwear. Whatever floats your boat.

If you haven’t gotten the date, and you just feel like you can’t be the one to bring it up. No worries. I’ve been there. Fuck it. and Fuck him. I promise, three years from now, you’ll have a second chance with someone probably less attractive and another phone call to freak out about. Okay?

I’ve been wanting to write about Radiohead all year, and I hope you got your hands on the special edition box set of the 7^th Radiohead album, In Rainbows. This is due to the fact that one of the best Radiohead tracks to date, Go Slowly can only be found on the bonus second disc.

At any rate, if somehow you haven’t heard, Radiohead is an English Alternative Rock band from good ol’ Oxfordshire (which sounds like a bit of a juxtaposition if you ask me), led by Mr. Thom Yorke. This album marks their first major album release that wasn’t on a music label contract. Also, the opportunity was given to fans to donate what they wanted for the new album, and the response was overwhelmingly positive, with many people paying well over the retail amount for this masterpiece. Over the years, the band has incorporated electronic elements to the primarily down tempo mood, which in my opinion was quite the welcome addition to the arsenal. Also, the lyrics on the latest album hit home to a lot of issues that we deal with on an everyday basis, using clever, albeit simple metaphors. A good and easy example is found in the first track 15 Step, with the line, “First you reel me out and then you cut the string.” Which doesn’t sound like the du jour of lyrics, but surrounded by the frantic, yet eerily controlled instrumentals and noises, it pulls you in to what I believe to be one of the best albums of the year.

Anywho; I’ll keep this report brief. Listen up for the tracks Bodysnatchers, Reckoner, and Jigsaw Falling into Place (possibly one of the greatest songs and interesting subject matter approach in quite a while if not evar!) on the first disc. But if you got the chance to purchase (or otherwise acquire) the second disc, then give Go Slowly, Up On the Ladder, and Bangers and Mash a little TLC.

Oh, and before I forget, I know some of you are thinking, “But Flak, didn’t this album come out on December 31^st of 2007?” And I get that, sure, but really, it’s that good, I pushed it back a day.

Then, there are those dreaded “haunted house stores”. You know exactly the ones that I’m talking about. They are the ones where, every five seconds, someone in a cardigan is cutting into your goddamn line of fire and asking if you are in need of assistance. Clearly, you do not need help, or you wouldn’t be walking at such a rapid pace, jittering from an overdose of Red Bull, pretending to talk on your cell phone to avoid this plagued interaction between brainy and bimbo.

The demons of Hollister.

The last time I was dragged into a haunted house, I had to close my eyes and hug one of my friends to the point where it was affecting his blood flow to stop myself from crying at all of the fiends jumping out at me in cheap stage makeup. I have to say, walking into a Hollister store during the holiday season seems to have the same overall effect on me. You never know when one of them is lurking around the corner, just about to creep up on you with their Jessica Simpson brand hair extensions and Neutrogena bottle faux look. The especially fun part is, when you are actually in need of some relevant form of assistance, like having a fitting room opened to try on a pair of plaid pants that you never should have touched in the first place, the store suddenly turns into some kind of ghost town (I guess, with the demons come the ghosts). Then of course, you’ve got the series regulars of Hollister: the gaudy gum chewers with hair eight shades too light of human and a nice roll of American trash fat around their waistline which apparently some mass memo told them to expose to the world.

So why did I go on this unexpected trip to Hollister?

I’m honestly strapped for cash and couldn’t afford to buy the twelfth installment of the Saw films, so went for the nearest free and ghoulish adrenaline rush.

UFC 92: The Ultimate 2008

UFC 92 is one of the biggest cards I’ve seen in recent memory, if not the biggest. The three fights I will go over could each easily anchor any card as the main event, and there were no disappointments, but plenty of upsets. This was the sort of event that really confuses me when I hear people are still fans of boxing, because the UFC is so much more exciting than boxing. Where UFC has really excelled and boxing has decisively slowed down is the fact that there are MMA fighters that are becoming household names, while the average person couldn’t name two or three boxers.

Quinton Jackson vs Wanderlei Silva

This fight is in the Light Heavyweight Division, and is the third fight overall between Quinton Jackson and Wanderlei Silva. The first two fights between them went to Silva, with both of those fights were in Pride fighting (the main MMA competitor to UFC). These fighters really don’t like each other, but it is easy to not like Jackson - he loves running his mouth, and he is extremely flashy. Before the fight began, you could see that Jackson looks much smaller than in prior fights, and Silva is just a mean looking motherfucker. Silva comes into the fight as the favorite, especially since he won the last two times they faced each other.

1st Round

The fighters did not tap gloves to start the fight, which is usually typical sportsmanship at the beginning of a fight. It started extremely cautiously from both men, with only some signs of fighting half-way into the round from Silva’s leg kicks and one big knee. They didn’t even exchange punches, even though it was all a stand up fight.

Silva goes in for a soft right punch, that Jackson easily ducked under, and countered with a BIG left cross. This exchange was out of absolutely nowhere, and that left cross knocks Silva out cold. Jackson went in for a few more punches when Silva was on the ground, but those were pointless - Silva was fully knocked out after that left cross. Jackson wins by knockout at 3:21 in the first round.

Conclusion

This was a strange fight, to be sure. Really not much of anything happened prior to the knockout. You could have sneezed and missed it because it came out of nowhere. Silva was clearly surprised, and Jackson was probably surprised it ended the way it did. My guess is that if that same left cross landed later in the fight, Silva would have been able to take it because he would have been warmed up.

Frank Mir vs Antonio Nogueira

This fight is for the Interim Heavyweight Championship, and the winner of this fights Brock Lesnar for the Heavyweight title. Frank Mir and Antonio Nogueira have a black belt in Jiu-Jitsu, but Mir has a much better stand up game, and Nogueira would have the edge on the ground. You may remember Mir from years back when he was at the top of his game, prior to a devastating motorcycle accident, that many said he would not recover from. During his return to form, Mir actually beat Lesnar, but that was when Lesnar was very inexperienced in the UFC, so a re-match would be killer. That being said, there’s still a big, dominating fighter standing in the way of that re-match, with Nogueira being the heavy favorite to win. Nogueira is probably the ugliest fighter in MMA today, with the kind of face that even possibly a mother couldn’t love.

1st Round

The round starts with lots of kicks from Mir, and he landed a couple big right punches to the head of Nogueira. Mir is controlling the fight early, and keeps pushing the action with punching combinations that lead to uppercut after uppercut. Mir knocks down Nogueira with a big straight left, but he did not follow it up on the ground because he wasn’t ready to knock out Nogueira and probably felt he would lose momentum.

Nogueira is surprisingly not doing shit this round; he’s basically a punching bag for Mir. As the first round closes, Mir knocks Nogueira down again; Nogueira took brutal punishment this round, and he’s lucky to get out of it.

2nd Round

Not a lot going on to start the first half of the round; Nogueira kept back tracking when Mir would try to come in. Mir lands a straight left that rocked Nogueira back, which Mir followed up with a devastating left hook that knocks Nogueira down for the third time, and wins Mir the fight. With 1:54 in the second round, Mir wins by technical knock out.

Conclusion

This was all Mir from the get-go, and in 38 MMA career fights, is the first time Nogueira losses by knock out. As Nogueira stood back up after the fight was called, he stumbled around like he didn’t know where he was; Nogueira got fucking rocked. Mir is now the new Interim Heavyweight Champion, and awaits his re-match with Lesnar to see who will hold the heavyweight title.

I really like Mir as a fighter, and as a person. He studies his opponents thoroughly before facing off, and is essentially a historian of MMA fighting. Some people don’t like him because he looks like a pretty boy, but it’s not his fault that he’s so dominating that even a dominating fighter like Nogueira could do no damage to him. After his win, Mir showed Nogueira tons of respect, and even added these humbling words:

I’ve never been more afraid in my life as I was when I walked into the ring tonight

Rashad Evans vs Forrest Griffin

This fight is for the Light Heavyweight Championship, and is considered the main event for UFC 92. Forrest Griffin is the winner from the first season of the Ultimate Fighter show, while Rashad Evans won the second season. A couple interesting things about Evans MMA / UFC career: he has never been defeated in MMA and he’s never attempted a submission in UFC. Evans is a former NCAA Division 1 wrestler, but he has turned into a stand up fighter, who likes to ground and pound if it gets to the floor. Griffin is the every man fighter, that most UFC fans like because he is a no nonsense, scrapping fighter. Griffin is a freestyle fighter, with heavy striking (particularly kicking due his long reach), and great submission technique.

1st Round

Early on they are trading nice leg kicks, with not much going on in the punching game. Griffin was able to land lots of leg kicks, although none of his high kicks landed. Evans is very quick with his combinations - going in fast, and coming out fast - with great foot work as usual. The first round saw no clinches or take downs, as both fighters were sizing each other up with an all out stand up fight. Griffin took this round, but only marginally; his biggest strike was a hard kick to the ribs which Evans really felt. This round was easily the most exciting round of the evening so far.

2nd Round

Evans starts off with some nice left jabs, but that Griffin started to push the issue. Griffin started this round much more aggressively, and after a couple successful combinations, it looked like he could smell blood. After this big rush from Griffin, Evans blows him a kiss and grabs his dick - exactly why very few people like this cocky, flashy asshole.

Griffin keeps working on the inside and outside of Evan’s left knee with powerful kicks; even more so than the first round, Griffin is landing kicks left and right, to the legs, mid-section and head of Evans. Evans not doing much of anything this round, until he gets a big right hand in. Evans changes his strategy a bit by leading his attacks with kicks rather than just all punching.

Griffin ends the round with a really nice combination that concludes with a small superman punch to the face of Evans. Griffin really took advantage of his reach advantage with leg kicks, and clearly pushed all the action in this round. While Griffin only marginally won the first round, he decisively won the second round.

3rd round

Griffin once again starts aggressively with nice combinations. At this point in the fight, it has basically been a kickboxing fight, with the clear edge going to Griffin. A minute into the round, Evans has his first big opening with a ton of punches taking Griffin to the ground. While Griffin is on his back, Evans lands several hammerfists, which looked like it was going to be the end, but nice work from Griffin to get out of it and get into a full guard. At this point, Evans sees that he is not going to finish it off yet, so he eases up until he can get a better position.

Still on the ground, on a closed guard from Griffin, Evans lands some really powerful right elbows, which allows him to get onto his knees for more leverage. Now with even more control, Evans starts making it rain punches, with a vicious of ground-and-pounding. Evans seals the fight with a huge straight right to the chin of Griffin, which allows Evans to get on his feet and starts pounding away at a flailing Griffin. After several lefts directly to the head of Griffin, the fight is called. Evans wins by technical knock out at 2:46 in the third round.

Conclusion

This was a big shift of momentum, as the fight was definitely going to Griffin until Evans landed his big punches to get Griffin to the ground in the third round. When Evans started teeing off his hammerfists, it was the beginning of the end. Evans is now the new Light Heavyweight Champion.

Griffin, very humbly thanked all the fans for coming out to watch the fight, and said he simply got his ass kicked by the better fighter in Evans. Even in defeat, I liked Griffin more than Evans.

Now that the Golden Globe Noms are out and the Emmys have passed us by, even though Lenny (and a whole host of other people) think that the Golden Globes are bunk, I can’t help but want to bring attention to shows that deserve their accolades. Lucky for you, I am a “Mystic” and can sense things of quality.  As I put a finger to my temple and rub my belly I am sensing…Gabriel Byrne…HBO…Diane Wiest…casting by Junie Lowry-Johnson and I can most certainly tell you without watching, that this show is a finely sculpted work of art.  Don’t worry, I watched it to confirm my genius.

BASIC PREMISE
Based on the critically acclaimed Israeli show Betipul, Psychotherapist Paul has a half hour session each week with his patients and as we get a look inside their closets, so too do we get a glimpse into his.  His marriage is falling apart and he seeks the counseling of his own therapist at the weeks end, felling as though his own ability to evaluate his patents and his life, is slipping.  Nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Television Series – Drama.

THE CAST

Gabriel Byrne as Paul Weston: A yes card for me whenever he’s on the bill, I ask fewer questions and I just watch.  Portraying the seemingly complacent and endlessly frustrated psychotherapist.  A compelling dichotomy of the Sage for others struggling at the same time appearing to have a greater inner struggle than all his patients put together.  A seemingly effortless portrayal garnering him Emmy and Golden Globe nominations.

Diane Wiest as Gina: Paul’s friend and Therapist.  Winner, 60th Emmy Awards; Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series for this character.  Nominated for Best Supporting, 2009 Golden Globes with Melissa George.  Brilliant woman…nuf’ said.

Melissa George as Laura, PATIENT: The girl’s on fire!  Damn these Aussies!  I want to move to Australia, get citizenship and the instantly brilliant film & television career that comes with the passport!  GOSH!!!  Sharing that 2009 Golden Globe nomination with Diane must feel really hot!  She’s compelling…and gorgeous.  GOSH!!!

Blair Underwood as Alex, PATIENT: Helping to fulfill the hotness quotient of the series, darling of Junie Lowry-Johnson, who has dipped into the Blair Underwood Well of talent before.  For those of you who may not know, she and her staff have an incredible eye for talent.  HBO… nuf’ said.  Nominated for a 2009 Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actooooor.  Last nominated in 91 for L.A. Law, he has SERIOUS competition but it further validates his performance and his position on the short list.

Michelle Forbes as Kate: Playing Paul’s wife, She’s such a great combo of hot and hard core!  IMDB this woman if you don’t know how impressive her hard-core resume is.  Maybe it’s the great bone structure or just the fact that she has mastered the art of tough which, as an actress I can tell you that VERY few Actresses have that skill.  The only thing that I don’t understand is why she hasn’t gotten a nom yet?  Did you see Battlestar Gallactica?…I don’t get it.

Mia Wasikowska as Sophie, PATIENT: AUSSIE!  She’s, what…10?…so obvious her career hasn’t had time to go too far, but she’s working plenty, soon to be Alice in Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland.

Embeth Davidtz as Amy, PATIENT: A different role than what I’m used to seeing her play, it’s nice to warm up to her and be sympathetic.

Josh Charles as Jake, PATIENT: As an avid Sports Night fan, it’s interesting to see Josh Charles play such a creep.  A dimension I didn’t know he had.  Well done!

WHAT I DIG: Being relatively self analytical I really enjoy trying to figure out where he’s going with his patients treatment.  What he’s trying to get out of them and how it may reflect on him.

WHAT I DON’T: I love good writing so I happily suck it up, but the palpable stress that Paul is experiencing is such a downer it pains me to watch.

WILL IT LAST: It’s HBO and it’s a cheap show to make so the show will run it’s course.  Who knows how long that will be?