As a continuation of Behind the Hype’s Inventors You Would Fuck Based on the Awesome Shit They Came Up With, the natural flip side to this coin is Inventors You Wish You Could Murder for the Terrible Shit They Came Up With. The inventions on our list range from the inane to the harmful, but all of them share the common characteristic of generally ruining a person’s life.
10. Edwin Beard Budding: Suburbia may thrive on manicured lawns, but who the fuck wants to mow a clump of grass? It’s one of the strongest exercises in monotony.
9. Louis Feiser: As if the military really needed to add napalm to its arsenal of weapons. So yeah, Japan in particular thanks you for burning its people Mr. Feiser.
8. Franz Kiwisch von Rotterau: Even though the douche bag is one of those entities that has been around for so long in some form that no one really knows who invented it, Franz Kiwisch von Rotterau is the man credited for perfecting it in 1848.
7. Joseph Smith: All religions are, to put in mildly, concoctions symptomatic of delusions and megalomania, but Smith definitely invented one of the worst dogmas through Mormonism.
6. Richard Clark: Though Botox was not invented by Clark, he was the first to point out the cosmetic effects in one of the five most boring medical journals, Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. I know everyone shouts from the fucking moutaintops about how much they love Botox for getting rid of her wrinkles, but do bitches really need one more thing to feel self-loathing about?
5. Arthur Galston: Agent Orange. It’s a bad ass title with horrendous ramifications.
4. Homer Dudley: Because of the Vocoder, T-Pain (and most other talentless artists on the Billboard Hot 100) has been permitted to have a career.
3. High fructose corn syrup-HFCS was perfected in the 1960s by a team of Japanese scientists. Obviously an evil plan to fuck Americans over in the weight department.
2. Victor Gruen: The mind who brought you the mall had to have been sick and sadistic for wanting to promote a cluster fuck of the obese and the vacant.
1. Frederick Roberts: It’s not Roberts’ fault really; concentration camps were originally referred to as “refugee camps” during the Boer War, but then some asshole named Lord Kitchener gained control of the British Army and used the camps to “flush out” the undesirables. It is my belief that Lord Kitchener’s spirit is residing in every penthouse in Upper Manhattan.
While this doesn’t even scratch the surface of some of the worst inventions, Behind the Hype feels it covers the gamut of industries. If you have anything to add to our list, please do so in the comments section.