General Info

Name: James D. Gunther. I have a wife and twin daughters but no mansion and no yacht. Again!
Location: Thousand Oaks, CA. Where everyone crosses the street… diagonally.
Email: gunfart@gmail.com
AIM: gunfart@mac.com
Age: 40. Yes, I am the old man on the park bench feeding the pidgins.
Likes: To be clever in subtle and brute fashions. See the intentional word play above.
Dislikes: Arrogance, unless you have the smarts to back it up. (Never happens)
Current State of Mind: I am in a constant frenzied state to amuse myself and if others benefit from it, that’s their problem.

Bio Info

I was raised by women and beaten by men. I grew up in Temple City, CA (Where?) five miles south of Santa Anita Race Track. (Oh, there!) After graduating High School I majored in Journalism and later renounced it after learning there is no truth, only bias. I worked at The Espresso Bar in Pasadena in between legitimate yet utterly ridiculous other jobs. After years of corporate torture, I currently work at Trader Joe’s where they will have to pry the job from my cold dead hands.

I am a full privileged member of the Cosmic Relationships Church of the Greater Tortoise. They profess a doctrine, which encourages its members to, “Move ever so slowly in the right direction.” So I can believe and improve at my own pace. Which is a slow one. Perfect! Although I have altered my diet to include 5 tablespoons of lard and adhere to a strict routine of whole milks, cheese and butter…I am sorry to report I am no closer to my ideal Welles weight. Please pray to your God for me in this regard. Otherwise, I sit here all day with nothing but my Buck Owens CD’s and a smiley faced candle I call Cheryl. It tries to cheer me up and mocks me when I am angered…I keep setting it on fire, but that stupid smile never goes away. I think I shall try and carve it out of its face next.

Final Words

Heroes: Elvis Costello, Hunter S Thompson, Joe Strummer, Lester Bangs, Samuel Beckett, Sam Shepard and Peter Handke.

Honorably Mentions: Philip K Dick, Ralph Steadman, David Mamet, Mike Davis, W.N.P Barbellion, Lloyd Cole and Howard Chaykin.

Favorite Quote:

It’s not that I’m lazy…it’s that I just don’t care.

Tombstone Will Read: I came, I saw, I left.