For whatever reason (most likely the rather grumpy mood I’ve been in for the last two days), obnoxious and abrasive noise seemed quite an appealing topic for this week’s list. So if blaring loud and aggressive music or even avant-garde gibberish to annoy those around you is your thing, by all means read on. As usual, please feel free to add any suggestions.

Sunn O))) – Death Becomes You

Off to the merry old land of Oz

Thirteen minutes of a sludge sounding riff, that’s all this song is. And yet it sounds so huge, dark, and brooding… it’s amazing that a few guitars can create this much fucking noise. Then there’s the finishing two minutes, with that absurdly rumbling bass and the odd way the track seems to collapse into itself – odd because there wasn’t really much going on to begin with, mainly. How this kind of music can actually sound good still baffles me.

Aphex Twin – Ventolin

Hello, in accordance with Megan's Law...

Leave it to Richard D. James to take such deliberately ear piercing noises, throw them together, and make a followable melody out of them. Yeah, it sounds like taking repeated sonic blows to the ear drums until they draw blood, but it’s strangely appealing; even stranger considering that the abrasiveness only gets worse as the track progresses…

Melt-Banana – Giggle on the Stretcher

Nyaaaahhhh

Contemporaries like the Locust or Boredoms cover a lot of the same ground this Japanese noise rock group does, but there’s a certain quirky personality to Melt-Banana, most of it courtesy of Yasuko Onuki’s vocals… er, shouts, and guitarist Agata’s wide array of effects pedals and tremendous creativity with the treatment of the sounds produced. Giggle is an early example of both at their finest.

Hour of Penance – Thousands of Christs

GRAAGGG WE'RE SO TOUGH

There are several death metal groups getting great acclaim this year; some understandable (Immolation) and some puzzling (Defeated Sanity), but Hour of Penance’s latest easily blows the competition out of the water. Not only is this unrelentingly brutal (and LOUD), but the incredibly tight structure is evident right away, and it even has what is probably the best quality a death metal record could have – you can actually tell the difference between the songs!

Venetian Snares – One Eye

Straight pimpin' mayhem, yo

Chopped up snare and bass drums, mangled guitars, spliced vocal samples, and fuck knows what else propel this pounding cacophony through its four minute length. Not only is it unforgivingly ear scraping to begin with, but Aaron Funk teases with the slightest traces of a melody in spots, before piling on even more confrontational noise to mask them.

Sonic Youth – Pacific Coast Highway

We're too cool for everything

Certainly no strangers to creating noisy (and at times in their earlier days, downright deranged) soundscapes, this cut off their 1987 album Sister shows everything that makes Sonic Youth so damn fun to listen to – that loud, creepy opening for instance, with Kim Gordon sounding as unsettling as ever, making lines like “Come on baby, just like that, you say,” sound far more frightening than they should.

Pig Destroyer – Boy Constrictor

CEREAL TASTES GOOOOOOOD!!!

This track carries more unreasonable rage in its minute running time than most songs can accomplish in five. Random injections of groove, instruments pounding in conjunction, and of course J.R. Hayes’ towering screams.. it’s no surprise that this band is such a huge favorite in the grindcore scene right now.

John Zorn – Demon Sanctuary

Mmm make luv 2 da rekkedz

However John Zorn got the idea to mix surf rock, grindcore, and jazz fusion is beyond me… but the the results are ingenious. The utterly insane gibberish being shouted over everything is the icing on the cake, and is pretty much guaranteed to get anybody in your vicinity to wonder just what the hell it is you’re listening to.

Boom Bip & Dose One – Questions Over Coffee

OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO

DJ Bryan Hollon (also known for his part in the popular duo Neon Neon from a few years back) provides some seriously spacey, drugged out production to back up MC Adam Drucker’s borderline pretentious ramblings that frankly seem to drift in and out of any sort of  genuine sense, until the point where he bluntly admits that he’s making it all up as he goes along. “And it feels goooood.”

Ween – Mister Richard Smoker

Looks like they're HUNG OUT to DRY LULZ

No one has ever made such obnoxious music sound so appealing and… well, good. Aaron Freeman and Mickey Melchiondo Jr. have always been spectacular songwriters and musicians, and their country parody/tribute album, 12 Country Greats, was no exception. Some of the tracks feel like genuine (if a bit silly) takes on old country and western, but the songs like this feel as if they were made for the sole purpose of making people think “…what the fuck is this shit??”

If you aren’t aware of Pokemon, then you’re further out of the loop than I am, and I’m talking about something that seems as if it hasn’t been relevant in years. But as social networking has become the most important thing ever, the metaphor that Pokemon has so profoundly explored becomes more and more impressive. What am I talking about? I’ll explain.

Gotta Catch ‘Em All

The Pokeball is the standard method of catching Pokemon.

The basic premise of Pokemon is that you “Gotta catch ‘em all”. This, oddly enough, is the same premise with social networking. The more friends you have, the more people who like what you’re promoting, or the more people that comment on your status updates, the better. The more different types of people, mindsets, and backgrounds you have, the more likely it is that you will reach someone who understands you, wants what you are selling, or can provide assistance in a situation. Pokemon knew this before Myspace was even theorized.

The Pokedex

Now, you have lots of Pokemon, but that’s not very helpful without some form of organization. To combat this, Pokemon gave us something called a Pokedex. It has random bits of information about each of the Pokemon, such as their weight, size, and type. Myspace and Facebook have similar things called profiles. People fill out these profiles and say their age, professions, relationship status, likes, dislikes, etc. This allows you to know who you are targeting or which Pokemon to use in any given situation.

But you can only use six

Seriously, Magikarp does nothing.

Pokemon originally had 150 types of creatures that you could catch, but you were restricted to using six at any given time. Originally we thought that this was because the scope of the game would be obscene if you could use all 150 at once, but that wasn’t it at all. Pokemon was creating a top list. Social networking sites mirrored this later. Myspace, for example, originally allowed you to pick eight friends that would be listed as your top friends. Why would they do that? It seems like you’re just isolating all of your other Pokemon. But, it makes sense. Just as with your real life friends, experience is only gained when a Pokemon is used in battle, and you learn to trust, love, and depend on specific Pokemon. When you choose your six Pokemon, or your eight Myspace Pokemon, you’re really just saying that these are the friends you trust to fight for you. Sometimes, you change up the order because you hope that another Pokemon can become useful. Sometimes, your friends are just Magikarps (Pokemon #129)that refuse to evolve and can only use splash.

A metaphor for friendship

It’s not just a metaphor for social networking. It’s a metaphor for friendship. You should go out and catch ‘em all. Catch all the friends you can, because sometimes a lame Pokemon like Metapod will evolve into Butterfree, and then you win the game. Sometimes your worst enemies become your best friends. And sometimes, if you’re really lucky, one of your Pokemon will make you peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.

Sex is not exactly a rare subject in music, and in fact many songs are infamous simply for how graphically they depict it. A bit less popular though, it seems, are songs more focused on the expression of the actual desire that precedes the act, and that’s what I wanted to focus on with this week’s list. So without further rambling, let’s get on with it, shall we? As usual, feel free to add any suggestions.

A Tribe Called Quest – Electric Relaxation

Guerilla mackin', yo

One of the best qualities of this song  is how utterly blatant they are about trying to get into girls’ pants… and yet it still sounds so classy and poetic. A lot of this is that slow, jazzy beat, which is about as smooth as I’ve ever heard hip-hop sound. Then there’s Q-Tip and Phife’s flawless trade-off throughout, flirting away with the objects of their affection while making their intentions perfectly clear.

Elysian Fields – Black Acres

Oh my

Like most Elysian Fields songs, Jennifer Charles truly makes this hers with those ungodly gorgeous vocals. On Black Acres, she gives such a lurid description of temptation gone awry that the imagery of lines like “Pressing close, I can’t behave” or “I’m up against his downy chest” practically jump out at you, all while the spare instrumentation carries on its dark tune behind her. Behind her… sheesh.

Massive Attack – Inertia Creeps

SMOOOKE.

While this song’s lyrics apply more to lust as something to trap somebody in a destructive relationship, the dark, dull throb of the music along with Robert Del Naja’s sinister, whispered vocals feel more like embracing it and recollecting an impassioned night with a lover in every sweat drenched detail than anything else. Fuck knows how many people have had sex with this song playing, but I can assure you that none of them are complaining.

Queens of the Stone Age – Make It Wit Chu

On the prowl

While the Queens have always been great with rockers, they’re a lot more adept with the slow jam style than one might think. They show quite a seductive groove here, with slow, bluesy hard rock backing Josh Homme’s low croon, detailing the rather few things he’s interested in at the moment. With how direct the lyrics are, regardless of how calm and cool Homme’s singing is, you can’t help but imagine that he’s moments away from tossing his guitar aside and assaulting the next woman he sees.

A Perfect Circle – Thinking of You

Ah, things hanging out of Paz's pants <3

With all the popular songs about female masturbation, it’s always nice to stumble upon a male equivalent (a well-written one, at least). The lyrics feel as if they could be vague if it wasn’t for Maynard James Keenan’s breathy delivery, which makes the words feel far more graphic than they really are. Then there’s the music; that sharp bass, aggressive percussion, and pumping break that can’t help but make one envision-..um… pumping gas.

Janet Jackson – If

Oh shit my hair

Speaking of female masturbation… while it’s a popular enough topic in song, Janet Jackson tackled it quite well here. This whole album, really, was the peak of her artistic embracing of sexuality before it got to be a bit over the top (and of course this is long before the infamous wardrobe malfunction with which she’s become sadly synonymous); I remember the video for Any Time, Any Place being a distinct hallmark in my sexual awakening as a pre-teen. In any case, If is so blunt with its raw lust, and that chorus leaves no doubt as to what she was on about.

Pulp – This Is Hardcore

Shut up, we TOTALLY look sexy

This is probably one of the most appropriately titled songs ever written. While the fantasy Jarvis Cocker describes in the song is quite vivid unto itself, the music provides perfect accompaniment – the crawling, throbbing build-up, the pounding, crashing climax, and how everything slowly and almost tragically fades away in the end.

Soft Cell – Sex Dwarf

What? Don't kids still wear this?

Probably the earliest song to give such an unabashed portrayal of S&M debauchery (not to mention that it beats Depeche Mode’s Master and Servant by a country mile with how well it captures this). Everything is so over the top, with the dark brooding music, the whips and moans, and of course the lyrics, which are lewd to such excess that they can be hysterically funny just as easily as alluring. It’s aged remarkably well too; nearly thirty years on it remains a staple in industrial and goth clubs.

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Hard On for Love

What the hell was up there before?

Nick Cave has never been a stranger to writing about lust, but this song positively drips with a lust so foul that it borders on frightening. There aren’t many lyricists who could use religious imagery this abundant for this kind of subject matter, especially the kind of violent sexual aching expressed here, but it’s all-too-familiar for Cave. He brings such intensity to these vocals (just listen to him shout “Just when I’m about to get my hands on her” near the end!), as do the Bad Seeds with their respective instruments; in their early days, they were spectacular at descending into chaos, and Hard On for Love is no exception.

Burial – Archangel

I still like to pretend that he's anonymous

Lust’s more subdued, tortured side – Burial brilliantly takes samples from Ray J’s One Wish to turn a cheesy R&B break-up song’s vocal pattern into this agonizing articulation of longing. Playing against this is a Metal Gear Solid 2 sample (!) that sounds downright ghostly, and makes the track sound even more harrowing, and with all the manipulation the vocal sample receives, it’s easy to picture the singer drowning in his own desire. The whole of Untrue is infamous for its looming atmosphere, and this is one of its best moments.

Nothing enhances a great scene quite like a well chosen song, and for some reason I had that concept in mind this week. In any case, I thought it best to keep from making this list TOO obvious (Tiny Dancer, Bohemian Rhapsody, etc.), but if there’s anything missing that you feel should be represented, by all means, repre-SENT. Wow, these introduction paragraphs get shorter every week… anyway, let’s get on with it.

Dr. Dre – Still D.R.E. (As used in Training Day)

Yeah see that kid selling drugs? SEXY.

It’s hard to describe just how well this scene sets the tone for the rest of the film, with this song’s near-sleazy quality and addictive yet simple beat. It really does feel like you’re at the start of a long ass day, and it’s somehow both fun and foreboding.

Simon & Garfunkel – The Only Living Boy in New York (As used in Garden State)

All together now

You don’t have to be at a proverbial crossroads to enjoy this movie, though it certainly helps. The characters are so easy to get behind that when this scene hits it really feels good – and though the subject matter of this song is about as opposite as can be with what transpires underneath it in the film, the beautiful harmonizing couldn’t possibly be more right.

Kiss – Shout It Out Loud (As used in Detroit Rock City)

Wrong picture, jack ass

I don’t even like Kiss, but when I’m watching this movie every single Kiss song is fantastic simply because I’m experiencing it through these four guys. The scene with the friends screaming along with this all too appropriately chosen song captures the feeling of going to a concert with your friends as a teenager so well that it feels like you’re going along with them.

Huey Lewis and the News – Hip to Be Square (As used in American Psycho)

Hey Paul!

Probably the most obvious one on this list, but just too hard to resist. Carnage with a pleasant backdrop isn’t really anything new, but it was done so well here that it can make you laugh at pettiness, unreasonable rage, and of course, a guy getting his face split in half by an axe. Also one of several examples of the screenplay’s clever interweaving of different parts of the book.

The Rolling Stones – I Am Waiting (As used in Rushmore)

SHE'S MY RUSHMORE MAX

Given the just about perfect track record that Wes Anderson films have with their soundtracks, it was rather difficult to pinpoint a single moment in a single movie. This edged out the rest for me simply because of how impeccably it underlines the characters’ collective sadness; the themes of reaching out, pulling away, and general loneliness in both the scene and song come together all too well.

Cowboy Junkies – Sweet Jane (As used in Natural Born Killers)

AWWWW

The Cowboy Junkies’ cover of this Velvet Underground classic carries such a sense of doomed romanticism that it only makes sense for it to become this psychopathic white trash couple’s theme. The song gets even better past the single verse that sees use in the film, but really the cooed vocals and dark, bluesy guitar are more than enough.

Talking Heads – This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) (As used in Lars and the Real Girl)

Oh Bianca

There are lots of songs that fail to really fill you with a single powerful emotion, much less two. Much less two contrasting ones. It works perfectly here, the happy-but-not-really (or sad-but-not-really, depending on how you look at it I suppose) music and lyrics in a movie that similarly makes me feel strangely both happy and sad.

Bonnie Hayes – Girls Like Me (As used in Valley Girl)

Lyk trippendicular, y'know

Valley Girl shares a trait with any given John Hughes movie in that in lesser hands, it would have been complete shit. There’s a certain quality about this movie that captures its era so perfectly, and unsurprisingly the soundtrack is no different. With all the great songs to choose from, I had to go with this – simply because there’s something to be said for a scene with young scantily clad girls that makes you think about being one of them more than actually having sex with them. Then again, that could just be me…

Massive Internal Complications – Strawberry Wine (As used in The Basketball Diaries)

Primo dope, maan..

After a long hunt for anything by this band, it seems that the one thing they did was this song, which was used for the brutal withdrawal scenes. It certainly wasn’t chosen where it isn’t so suitable, either; Strawberry Wine is harrowing to a ridiculous degree, and I can’t help wondering if anyone could hear this song without having seen the movie first and picture anything BUT heroin withdrawal. Few songs seem as tailor-made for desperation as this one.

The Knack – My Sharona (As used in Reality Bites)

I LOVE THIS SONG

A one hit wonder from the late 70s should do just about anything but transport me to the 90s every time I hear it, but that’s exactly what this song does, and it’s all because of Reality Bites. Much like Valley Girl, it’s a fantastic time capsule with, admittedly, a very trite and predictable story, but it just has that charisma about it that can make you overlook its flaws. Even if this moment in the film wasn’t so obnoxiously fun, it’s an oddly funny reminder that hipsters have always liked twenty year old music.

Inspired by one of the songs that appears here (and no, it’s not that god awful Papa Roach song), this week’s list is admittedly rather depressing. But there really is something to be said for songs that not only can pull you into environments where you really don’t want to be, but can convince you to let them as well – especially if you’ve ever experienced any of the material expressed here. As usual, feel free to add anything I may have left out. Now, on with the sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows…

The National – Conversation 16

"The fuck are you looking at?"

Easily the most recent song on the list, Conversation 16 details a man’s disenchantment with the married family life, and how it slowly descends into apathy. Probably the saddest part is where he starts bargaining, with lines like “I’ll try to be more romantic, I want to believe in everything you believe” and their less-than-believable delivery. That haunting, echo-slathered harmonization makes the song feel even more harrowing and hopeless… so much so, in fact, that the “I was afraid I’d eat your brains” sounds startlingly genuine!

Depeche Mode – Precious

With the humans oblivious, the trees made their move

It’s so impressive to see a band this old still churning out great singles like Precious. Dave Gahan’s soothing voice really drives home the sad haplessness of Martin Gore’s typically poetic lyrics, with that catchy and strangely danceable melancholy as only Depeche Mode can do it. The notion of children being caught in the middle of a taxing divorce is nothing new of course, but the take here is just so heartfelt and honest, accepting the blame and acknowledging that no, everything is not going to be alright.

Bad Religion – 21st Century (Digital Boy)

I'd hate to run into these guys in an alle-...oh wait

Now we go from torn, caring parents to the ones who throw gifts at their children rather than attention. A subject that could easily have rendered the song an exercise in empty self-pity, Greg Graffin handles guitarist Brett Gurewitz’s lyrics very well. There’s a real edge to his voice with the delivery, and the chorus is of such a fun, anthemic sing-a-long quality that it avoids any real heavy handedness.

Placebo – Black-Eyed

"...and he thought I was a girl! Can you believe that??"

A bit of a different approach here, Black-Eyed comes across more as a mocking of people who quickly use bad childhoods as an excuse for bad behavior. It’s quite clever too, what with how tragic and urgent the music feels, and it really makes the song all the more indicting. Placebo has always been one of those bands to get flak for receiving more attention from their image than their music, but as Black-Eyed shows, they’ve had more than their fair share of good ideas.

Billy Bragg – Valentine’s Day Is Over

Oh yeah, they look nice now, but...

The sadly forgotten 80s indie figure paints a rather bleak picture of a wonderful courting period culminating in spousal abuse here, with just a bluesy guitar and his passionate vocal. The way Bragg captures the female perspective in this song is unexpectedly insightful, particularly how it moves back and forth from listless musing over the failed relationship to the harsh reality of the situation. Very dark, but with a slight glimmer of hope.

Company Flow – Last Good Sleep

El-P: If you don't like black and white photography, FUCK YOU

Speaking of dark, Last Good Sleep could well be one of the most disturbingly realistic depictions of spousal abuse ever committed to tape. El-P grabs you right away with the chorus, “At night I cover my ears in tears, the man downstairs must’ve drank too many beers,” and along with that incredibly sinister beat, he makes it clear that this story won’t have much of a happy ending. The perspective is from a young boy who witnesses as some truly vicious beatings transpire, simultaneously terrified and guilt-ridden by the fact that he is as helpless as his battered mother.

Eminem – Kim

It was loaded alright... with HILARITY

Even though this is essentially an anger purging fantasy, this is probably the only song of its kind that can stand up to Last Good Sleep in how fucking scary it is. Those sharp, stabbing piano notes are so extreme that the song is unnerving even before Em shouts “Sit down you bitch, you move again and I’ll beat the shit out of you!” Kim is one of the most fearlessly personal I have ever heard, and it gets very uncomfortable listening to him portray himself as this wounded monster who’s snapped into a homicidal rage – which makes it all the more remarkable just how spellbinding it is.

Stabbing Westward – Sleep

The male answer to a pretty girl surrounded by funny looking friends

And now we get into the child abuse. One of the better bands to come out of the post-Nine Inch Nails industrial boom of the mid 90s, Stabbing Westward was never a stranger to darkly intimate subject matter, but it probably peaked with Sleep. Backed by a very tense blend of samples, keyboards, and guitars, vocalist Christopher Hall tells a story of a young girl suffering abuse at the hands of her father, with a level of vagueness that only serves to heighten its upsetting nature.

Korn – Daddy

I needed a laugh... this week's list is really getting depressing!

I couldn’t have been older than eleven or twelve when I heard this for the first time, and it freaked me the fuck out…. to tell you the truth, it still kind of does. It’s not even the brutally graphic depiction of the act that gets me so much as the equally detailed parental apathy, and then when the song falls apart along with Jonathan Davis toward its end, there’s just no not feeling for him.

De La Soul – Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa

Scissors beats eye

Hip hop’s answer to Janie’s Got a Gun, by some of the genre’s earliest (and best) storytellers. There’s a very light foreboding to the song, cleverly splicing the in-the-moment obliviousness and after-the-fact hindsight that often accompanies a child’s sexual abuse. Despite the fact that the song culminates with the daughter snapping and killing the father, with an ending so abrupt that it almost startles, the beat is so gentle that the song never feels as grim as it should, and it works wonderfully.

Well, July has come to an end, and it shouldn’t come as a shock that yet again, a shitload of fantastic music came out. In any case, there’s not a whole lot more I can say about July being over, so without further ado let’s get on with yet another rant about ten different artists… as usual, whatever you think I’ve missed, please feel free to comment below.

M.I.A. – Meds and Feds

AROUSING.

As we all know, M.I.A. is one ballsy broad – calling out less-than-talented songstresses, feuds with reporters, performing shows when she knew full well she was about to pop, controversial music videos, and now releasing what will likely be the most polarizing album of the year. The tastes of dubstep and industrial all throughout the album are great in how cold, robotic, and ultimately challenging they are, but what makes this Sleigh Bells sampling track stand out for me is that it really underlines what this album is about with M.I.A.’s glitched-out “I just give a damn.” The loud and confrontational Maya isn’t out to make people love or hate it so much as to get in the listener’s face and force an opinion out of them, and on those grounds this album has been spectacularly successful.

Brandon Boyd – Runaway Train

This guy will probably be pretty 'til he dies. At 104.

Had it not been Brandon Boyd singing on this track (or really any on his solo debut), it’s highly unlikely that you’d be able to sniff out any trace of Incubus. Along with its predictably creative video, lead single Runaway Train shows Boyd exploring his musical boundaries, but smartly never reaching beyond his grasp. With a maddeningly sing-a-long chorus and a simple melody backed with busy acoustic instrumentation, this is a hard one not to get addicted to.

Cut Copy – Where I’m Going

How many fucking pictures are we going to take...

Still riding high on the monstrous success of their superb 2008 album In Ghosts and Colours, the Australian synth pop trio released this single as a teaser for their follow-up, which is slated for a January ’11 release. And this thing is loaded with hooks, from the verse’s lush harmonization to the psychedelic,  Lennon-esque bridge. And while the “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! WOO!!” of the chorus feels like it should be obnoxious, it’s just done too damn well, and I’m not gonna lie – when it doesn’t appear in the final chorus, there’s always a split second where I’m looking for it. Quite possibly the feel-good anthem of the summer.

Japanese Cartoon – All Sabotage!!! (STSO)

Wutchoo lookin at bitch

With his alternative rock based side project, Japanese Cartoon, Lupe Fiasco mostly succeeds where Lil Wayne failed miserably. One of the few tracks on In the Jaws of the Lords of Death where Lupe’s faux English accent doesn’t get to be a bit much, All Sabotage!!! (STSO) (if the abundance of exclamation points isn’t a hint) is pure energy. An incredibly inspired blend of punk, electronica, and hip-hop, this track proves that these kinds of crossovers are not always bad ideas.

The Books – I Am Who I Am

Get it?? BECAUSE THEY'RE CALLED 'THE BOOKS' LOLZ

Probably the most aggressive thing this duo has ever done, which may not be saying much given their more downtempo early material, but it’s a workout all the same. I Am Who I Am feels strangely faster than its BPM, what with how quickly all the samples fly at you. Some are distorted, some are buried underneath the main synth, but just about all of them feel utterly bizarre and strangely unsettling. Nuttiness.

Mount Kimbie – Blind Night Errand

Don't take the picture while I'm squi-*CLICK*...squinting.

One of the most appealing things about Mount Kimbie’s full-length debut is how it avoids dubstep extremes, particularly how it has a bit too much kick to feel loomingly atmospheric but not enough bass to feel as if it should be played in a club. With how well it’s produced though, and how alluring the simple, warped hooks are (this track being a glaring example), this is hardly a criticism. Blind Night Errand is some very ear catching stuff, particularly in how the beat progresses into an almost R&B sound near its conclusion.

Sun Kil Moon – Sam Wong Hotel

Bummed.

One thing that takes a bit of the momentum from Sun Kil Moon’s latest is Mark Kozelek’s admittedly excellent, but at times over the top classical guitar. The virtuoso stylings don’t always mesh particularly well with the singer-songwriter format, but on tracks like this, he nails the balance perfectly. His playing is gorgeous, his voice is haunting, and the melodies are relentless, even more so throughout the instrumental sections.

Cyanotic – alt machine.edit

We're gonna be serious. Even though my beard looks dumb.

I know I’ve already gushed sufficiently over just how good this band is in my review of their latest, but they really deserved a spot on this week’s list. alt machine.edit is textbook industrial – brilliant electronics and samples, sharp guitars, and a pounding, danceable beat. I know I already stressed this in the review, but I’ll repeat myself anyway: this really is how industrial should be done.

Menomena – Dirty Cartoons

"Ooohhh shit" "Sorry dude" "Haha, NOW what's goin' on back there?"

Though this album leaked quite a while back (a fact the band understandably griped about on their twitter), it seemed appropriate to place on this list. The intense longing in the vocals is enough to reel you in, but the instrumentation merits multiple repeat listens all on its own. Steel drums, buried strings, and that throbbing bass are just a handful of things that are woven through this masterfully layered track. About as lovely as a song this sad can be, Dirty Cartoons is destined to be on many, many depressed playlists this year.

Big Boi – Tangerine

Too. Damn. Stylin'.

One of the few moments on Big Boi’s solo debut that can top the ridiculous ear candy of Shutterbug (if only by a hair) is a song about getting blown that is far more catchy than it should be. Tangerine is so loaded with hooks and fun melodies that it can almost distract from not just how great Big Boi himself is (as are Khujo Goodie and T.I.) but how damned graphic this song is! The colorful slang for ejaculation alone makes it a wonder that this song doesn’t feel sleazy in the least.

Last week’s list reminded me just how overly fond I am of music from the 90s, so for this week I wanted to go over favorite tracks from the decade. But the more I went through my music… the more I realized what a fucking joke it would be to try slimming down that many favorites onto a list of ten. So to make it easier, I neglected the more obvious selections and decided to pick more unsung (ha-HA, see what I did there?) tunes that though less people know about, I think everybody should love as much as I do. As always, if you have any suggestions please feel free to add.

The Dismemberment Plan – Memory Machine

The band seconds before a tragic accident

A great example of what a wildly imaginative indie rock band the Dismemberment Plan was, Memory Machine combines clever time signatures with a nearly anthemic, poppy chorus. The beginning is almost awkward, sounding as if it had been meant for the middle of a completely different song, and then it’s followed by a quick barrage of guitars and keyboards before finally settling into the verse. Experimental and weird, but never alienating, and extremely catchy to boot.

Screeching Weasel – Slogans

Yeah, red pants. Got a problem with that?

Whatever pop chord progressions the Ramones, the Buzzcocks, and the Descendents may have missed, Screeching Weasel managed to pick up. It’s a shame the band never saw much popularity; this song’s parent album, My Brain Hurts, predates the mid-90s pop punk explosion by a good three years, was hugely influential to all of the bands involved, and arguably did it the best. Slogans, like the rest of My Brain Hurts, is fast, catchy, and loaded with genuine personality. Plus, I can’t think of any other time that “I don’t really give a shit” has ever sounded so cheerful…

I-F – Space Invaders Are Smoking Grass

"Oohh yeeahh take off that top"

Mumbled robotic vocals, well layered electronics, and a thick, hook-ridden collective of dirty synths make this one a great electro dance number, but really it’s all about that bass. The back end in this song is absolutely towering, and with as much as he throws on top, it never loses control of the song. This is in that rare breed of electronic dance music, where it’s actually good enough to be repetitive for six minutes without getting boring.

The Beatnuts – Watch Out Now

Now there's a good example for the children.

For the life of me, I don’t think I will ever understand how this didn’t become a monstrous hit. Oh wait it did, when Trackmasters and Cory Rooney all but stole the beat in 2002 for Jennifer Lopez’s Jenny from the Block. Ba-dum tsh. That addictive flute loop beat is great enough, but JuJu and Psycho Les are relentless over it; seamlessly switching between English and Spanish (which is not something I’m normally into), goofy shit talking, and a highly melodic chorus. Sooner or later, I’ll be at a party and hear this come on, and I’ll go fuckin’ apeshit.

God Lives Underwater – From Your Mouth

...we're fighting.

Toning down the industrial sound of their first album and incorporating more trip-hop influence resulted in a very hit-or-miss sophomore effort, but this song nearly made up for it all on its own. The unsettling synths and incessant scratching over that heavy beat go together beautifully. From Your Mouth manages to be catchy, intricate, and very chill all at once; if you’ve ever wondered what Depeche Mode might sound like with a bit of a hip-hop flavor to the music, check this out.

The Jesus Lizard – Boilermaker

Do you need assistance? I have three arms.

The opening track on their third album, Liar, Boilermaker‘s intensity gives the listener an idea of what the band’s notoriously chaotic live show might feel like. It wasn’t even just how crazy the music was; the songs were all tightly composed (especially here) and immediately engaging.  Right out of its gate, the guitar and snare are working in furious conjunction, while vocalist David Yow screams over it all like a madman. Best when enjoyed as loudly as possible.

Brainiac – Nothing Ever Changes

"BLOO-PEE-DOOOOOOH" "Shut. Up."

One of the most unique and insanely creative alternative rock bands to ever be so criminally slept on. In the thirteen years since vocalist Tim Taylor’s unfortunate demise, no band of this genre has come close to capturing their imagination, or handling their patented blend of punk, synth pop, and noise rock as well as they did. Brainiac had a spectacular way of taking wonderful melodies and deliberately fucking them up by playing them with odd sounding moog synths, bent guitar notes, and gleefully bizarre vocal treatments. A must-hear, even if only to think “…the hell is this?”

Prong – Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck

Tonight.... YOU

Tailor-made for metal dancefloors (yes, there is such a thing), Snap Your Fingers boasts a crunchy guitar hook that could possibly be the heaviest earworm ever written. It almost feels unnatural for something this crushing to be so immediate, but Tommy Victor and co. made it work. Dark and menacing with just enough pop sensibility, while groups like Pantera and Machine Head may have been given the groove metal tag, this was the real thing.

Fantastic Plastic Machine – Take Me to the Disco (FPM Original Mix)

Like if Mr. Cleaver was a DJ. And Japanese.

I am cheating a bit with this one, unless of course you judge the decade as 1991-2000 instead of 1990-1999. In any case, the trumpets and aggressive piano give this a very swinging start before the keyboards and female vocals come in, along with that trademark thumping beat that house is so.. er… known and loved for. Extremely cheesy, but never going over the top, and frankly it’s so bright and danceable that I doubt I’d care if it did.

The Tea Party – Army Ants

....we're a little confused

Mixing Nine Inch Nails and Led Zeppelin may not sound like the best idea, but on their fourth full-length, Transmission, the Canadian trio managed to pull it off with impressive style. The whole album has a great blend of eastern tinged hard rock with industrial sounding guitars and electronic effects, but they’re easily at their most aggressive on Army Ants. Jeff Martin switches between his much praised/criticized Jim Morrison-esque croon and an angry roar to great effect, with cleverly laced samples and excellent cymbal work propelling the song from behind him. A shame they didn’t stay with this style, it’s tempting to wonder where they could have taken it.

Since Behind the Hype is an L.A.-based website, we don’t really believe in having a section for book reviews. Though, from what I can tell about my brief stay in New York, where once people clutched copies of meaningful literature like The Sound and the Fury or Tender is the Night during the 1960s, they now walk around parading copies of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and any of the “novels” from the bane of intelligence, Twilight. So New York may be waning in its literary credibility as well. Anyway, with or without a book review section, I feel inclined to speak about a recent reading Chuck Klosterman did at the Union Square Barnes & Noble.

The cover of Klosterman's latest collection of pop culture essays

Now, I should give the disclaimer to those who are Klosterman enthusiasts that Klosterman himself makes a living off of commenting on and condemning the latest pop culture trends. That is the job of someone who has a strong and informed opinion on the most important matters in life: Film and music (and for some, including Klosterman, sports). Of late, it appears, Klosterman has lost the panache he had in his previous novels, such as Killing Yourself to Live and, his masterpiece, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs (thank fuck he used an Oxford comma in the title).

Klosterman's most seminal work

To quote The Pretenders, “Don’t get me wrong,” I agree with Klosterman on a great many things, like his hatred of Coldplay and why they are a prime example of why no one can ever be happy in a relationship, his comparison between how time works in Saved by the Bell and in real life, and his assessment of internet porn, but these are all instances extracted from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, which was published seven years ago. In his latest attempt at embracing being typecast as the guy who talks geekily about pop culture, Klosterman maintains none of the clout from his 2003 juggernaut. Eating the Dinosaur is, to be frank, not that good. And to make matters worse, when Simon & Schuster says, “Dance, monkey, dance,” Klosterman obliges. That is to say, he added two additional chapters to Eating the Dinosaur, first released in 2009. And this is precisely why he was at Barnes & Noble: To promote the book and its modifications. I don’t know if that means sales have been good or bad. The publishing industry is more of a mystery to me than why Christina Hendricks from Mad Men was voted 2010′s best looking American woman by Esquire (I still think it’s Angelina Jolie).

The man, the myth, the pop culture essayist

The questions asked of Klosterman were typically inane and true to form for book readings (i.e. “Have you seen Inception?” or “Do you prefer musical artists with a message as opposed to those who just perform without a social agenda?”). In turn, he seemed to make his answers as close to what he thought people wanted to hear (i.e. he liked Inception and his favorite band is Kiss). But where once Klosterman exuded originality and that rare authorial quality of not giving a shit, he now seems to be clutching desperately to commenting “accurately” on pop culture, the chief example being his newly added chapter about Lady Gaga and the accompanying depreciation of Madonna (a massive faux pas in my book of sins).

Another of Klosterman's better literary endeavors

It simply seems that, in becoming an unwitting member of pop culture, Klosterman has lost his previous identity as a pop culture commentator. I think he might get it back though, pending a fall from grace and a return to not being so overtly contrived.

Gamers everywhere are outraged as the United States government bans Starcraft II (SC2), the much-anticipated sequel to Starcraft. One of the most beloved real time strategy games of all time, Starcraft has had extreme success since its original release in 1998. Since then, gamers have been awaiting Starcraft II, which was scheduled to release on July 27, 2010. However, given the current economic crisis, Washington decided that it would be improper to allow the release of what could possibly be a World of Warcraft (WoW) killer. World of Warcraft, is of course, the most popular Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG) in the world.

People have been waiting 12 years for this game.

Blizzard Entertainment is known for producing the highest quality games, and is considered the only company that can release a game that might destroy the World of Warcraft. Oddly enough, they are also the creator of WoW, which leads to some interesting economic questions. Since Blizzard will be raking in money for either SC2 or WoW, why is it a big deal that they are potentially killing one of their games with the release of another? In short, it comes down to subscription fees. With 11.5 million players paying $15/month to play, the World of Warcraft has a stronger economy than most countries in the actual world, and that’s before you get into micro-payments. Starcraft II will not have subscription fees (in the United States).

The number of subscribers to WoW grows over time since there is nothing else that even remotely competes with it. Thus far, there has been no MMO that has come close to challenging WoW’s complete dominance over the market, and that is a good thing for the economy. You see, many websites are dedicated to WoW, either by providing news, strategies to defeat bosses or players, or selling in game items (illegal, but profitable). If WoW were to die, so would all these websites. This would result in the unemployment of many Americans and the collapse of the Chinese economy, which gets much of its GDP from selling gold to players.

Even South Park profited from WoW.

You might think that this isn’t a problem, because SC2 is not an MMO and thus wouldn’t take away WoW’s subscriber base. Of course, you would be wrong. The demographic for both games is the same, mostly fat, balding men between the ages of 20 and 50. Most of them are also tired of WoW after five years, but they currently have no better option. SC2 will provide them with the escape they are all looking for.

Which brings us back to the beginning. Despite the government’s flaws, they are very good at deeming things to be “too big to fail”, and WoW is the first game to ever achieve this designation. A chief advisor to the president had this to say,

We know it’s ridiculous that a video game has gotten this powerful, but it’s a simple numbers game. World of Warcraft generates more money than Rhode Island and Iowa combined, and thus cannot be allowed to die. As Starcraft II will cause irreparable damage to the World of Warcraft, we have deemed it to be in the best interests of the country to postpone the release of Starcraft II indefinitely.

If there is one thing I have learned from my many late, drunken nights in karaoke bars, it is this: no karaoke bar in this country will EVER have a night in which Alanis Morissette’s You Oughtta Know will not be sung (Carrie Underwood’s Before He Cheats seems to be reaching this status as well, sadly). Now don’t get me wrong, I can certainly see why. While the song irritates me to no end, I have to begrudgingly admit that it is not just a 90s staple, but an admirably enduring breakup anthem. However, every time I hear someone butcher this song, I can’t help but wonder why there aren’t several other angry songs from the female view that are so cherished. Obviously I’m hardly an expert on the matter, but I thought it as good as anything to dedicate this week’s list to. As I’m sure there is much I am leaving out, please feel free to add your own suggestions. And with that, let’s get started.

Tori Amos – The Waitress

Hand bone connected to the keyboard connected to the google connected to the government

If there’s a more gloriously catty line than “I believe in peace, bitch,” I am yet to hear it. The verses detail an unreasonable hatred for a coworker, which I’m sure we’ve all had in some shape or form. Why do I hate this person so much? It’s just some douchebag, they don’t matter… but FUCK, they piss me off! The matter-of-fact “So I want to kill this waitress” starts things out perfectly, and that whip sounding noise in the background certainly doesn’t hurt things either.

Poe – Angry Johnny

mumblemumblemumblescream

This sadly forgotten 90s gem feels like a detailed revenge fantasy gone awry, but delivered with a cleverly sexual guise (the pause after “I want to blow you” and before “away” being a prime example). By the time the bridge hits though, and Anne Danielewski is taunting “where’s your pleasure now, Johnny,” the song starts to feel downright unsettling, and quite a bit more becomes open for interpretation than you might have cared for.

L7 – Shitlist

Oh my god this is so 90s

On a list like this, there’s no way a band with a tampon story this infamous could be neglected. Probably the perfect choice for the moment in Natural Born Killers where it pops up, Shitlist is classic L7; sleazy, pissed off, and able to express all of it with a simple snarl. Still, the best part is when Donita Sparks loses her cool around the minute and a half mark and screams out the second verse, only to slip back into that (somewhat) calm demeanor for the rest of the song.

Elastica – Stutter

They were talking shit about your hair Justine

Taken literally, Stutter is about irritation over a boyfriend’s impotence. With the passion that Justine Frischmann delivers in this incredibly catchy slice of britpop though, it feels like more of a metaphor for a failing relationship. It’s remarkable too, how clearly frustrated she sounds, and yet how bright and poppy she is as she gets her point across. Yet another example of a great band undeservedly damned to one hit wonder status.

Ladytron – Ghosts

A wed wose... how womantic

No, not really angry in the traditional sense, but there’s something to be said for a band that can sound so dreamy and so snarky at the same time. With as pretty and soothing as Helen Marnie’s vocals are, you can still picture her sneering as she sings “clock strikes and I know you will be drinking alone” or the rather harsh conclusion to the chorus, “doesn’t mean I’m sorry.”

PJ Harvey – Rub ’til It Bleeds

Insert generic 'all business' joke here, I guess

I’ve heard this song called “Handjob of Death” more than a few times, and it’s a difficult alternate title to dispute. There is such wonderfully brutal teasing in this song’s lyrics, as she goes from sweetly crooning “Baby, I’m your sweet thing” to viciously shouting “I’m calling you weak.” The music has that sexy, rough-around-the-edges blues sound to it, and when it builds up and explodes at the end, it’s almost as if it’s simulating.. well, you see where I’m going with this.

Snake River Conspiracy – Vulcan

Yeah we did her hair, what of it

Vocalist Tobey Torres is startlingly intimidating on this song. She starts the song with a resounding “FUCK!!”, and her seething roars are only delivered with more authority as the song continues. The way she screams “you fucking faggot” actually puts me into this odd state where I honestly can’t tell if I’m frightened or turned on. It’s not even the commanding vocals really, but the charisma behind them. As she asserts herself all throughout, you’d believe her even if it was just expressed with mere whispers. Plus the music is just so crushing; it’s hard to believe that a key role in the band is held by none other than Third Eye Blind’s Jason Slater.

Tracy Bonham – Mother Mother

I can almost hear the gruffy narration

Delving yet again into 1990s alternative. What really clinches this song for me, even more than those intense choruses that are frankly impossible to not get behind, is how personal yet relatable it is. It really captures lashing out against a strained relationship with a parent almost as well as the disillusionment that can sometimes follow striking out on one’s own.

Nikka Costa – Hope It Felt Good

She looks like a snorter

Nikka Costa’s biggest song is easily Everybody Got Their Something, which isn’t so much a hit as it is one of those songs that most people know but don’t realize it. Why she never achieved widespread fame has always baffled me; her voice is incredible, her lyrical subject matter is diverse, and the neo-soul sound backing her is fantastic. In an alternate universe somewhere, Hope It Felt Good became the smash hit it truly deserved to be. She absolutely rages over a sharp 70s funk beat, singing with a fire reminiscent of Janis Joplin. As far as jilted ex songs go, this isn’t an easy one to beat.

Bjork – Declare Independence

Damn this pic is old

God, what a great song. The synth alone sounds pissed off; it’s so heavily distorted and dirty sounding, and while Volta certainly isn’t her best album, this could well be the most sinister and brooding song she’s ever done. The pounding beat and crashing cymbals get so intense as the song progresses, but this is nothing compared to Bjork herself – you can practically hear her gnashing her teeth before she breaks into that blood curdling scream at the end. The best thing though, has to be the lyrics; written for (and dedicated in concert many times over to) various oppressed nations, they’re also just vague enough to be applicable to anything from an overly advantageous workplace to an abusive spouse. An easy track to leave on repeat.