Today I am trying to figure out the interesting contraption called The BlowGuard. One of my buddies told me about it last week, and I tried figuring it out by just looking at the picture. I'm fairly intelligent, but I couldn't make heads or tails of it at first glance. Have a look-see and try to come up with a purpose for it's existence:

The BlowGuard: Don't Leave Home without it

Being ever resourceful, I did a little more research and found their website, which does a perfect job of explaining the product, but still does a poor job of alleviating my "wtf?" stare. So what the fuck is it? As taken from The BlowGuard website (be warned, there is adult content on the site):

  • Invented by a dentist.
  • The ingenious design delights both lovers.
  • The Blowguard™ is designed to increase your partner's pleasure.
  • Blowguard™ is made from a one-size-fits-all silicone that is phthalate free and safe.
  • For $27.95 (MSRP), the Blowguard™ includes the soft, flexible tray, mini bullet and a 6cc pillow pack of Sex Tarts® strawberry flavored lube.

If you do check out their site, look at the testimonials they have throughout the site; this is my favorite:

We are an older couple that wears dentures. We are active in the swingers lifestyle. The BlowGuard fits over my dentures and when Im giving other men blowjobs, my teeth don't move.

Thank you! Howard and Elaine T. California

Dr Joe got his Inspiration from the Giant Ass Saw Thing

Dr. Joe, the dentist that invented The BlowGuard, seems to think that it can be used by both men and women, but I'd venture a guess to say if anyone actually uses it, it'll be exclusively women. In a nutshell, it's a way for a woman to give a blowjob, and not have her teeth scrap against the bottom of the penis. I suppose there would be a great appeal if the girl was drunk or completely inexperienced, but I'm not sure that it's worth 28 of my hard-earned doll hairs. Plus, what if I'm into that kind of pain? What then, Dr. Joe?

By the way, did I mention the BlowGuard vibrates? Thought you might like that.

I'm not sure what I like more: the fact that people buy this thing, or the product's tagline Taking the job out of blowjobs. I've got my issues with American culture, but I'd like to think that at the end of the day, our women can still deal with the trials and tribulations of a blowjob, without having to take the "job" out of it.

Posted
AuthorRedmanthatcould