Monday Night Football is about as American as Gonorrhea, which is why everyone loves it so much.  I love it too, except when the Dallas Cowboys play.  I fucking hate the Cowboys. In week 2, the Philadelphia Eagles faced the Dallas Cowboys.  This was a really high-scoring game throughout; the first half ended with the second-highest total points of any MNF game (38 years of history!).  Defense was more or less non-existent, while amazing passing, and rushing was all over the place.

Don't think I'm an Eagles fan, mind you...I just fucking hate the Cowboys.  So while I have no team affiliation, I am always a fan of "the team playing the Cowboys."  Did I mention I hate the Cowboys?

The game was actually very close, with 7 lead changes.  One team would score, the other team would come right back and score to regain the lead.  Definitely no lack of excitement in this game.  I should also note that the Eagles were playing without their top two receivers, which did not seem to faze Donovan McNabb.  That being said, he did Brian Westbrookquite a bit...who was having a phenomenal game himself.

It could have gone either way, but McNabb and Westbrook had a supreme blunder late in the game.  It was a simple hand-off, which McNabb either accidentally double-clutched, or Westbrook went for too any case, that really turned the game to the Cowboys favor.

I guess you are wondering why I hate the Cowboys so much.  Well, it's not all of the Cowboys that I hate - just the vast majority, and their fans.  How could you like a team dubbed "America's Team" anyhow?  Not to say I have anything against America (even though I do, as do most non-braindead citizens), but don't you think that's a little MUCH?  Beyond that, I absolutely cannot stand Romo, Owens, or Jerry Jones.

Those three clowns are pieces of shit not even worthy to attach themselves to the bottom of my shoes.

The two players that stand out for me are Witten and Barber.  I wish Witten would take some notes from how hard Barber plays though.  He's a big ass tight end, yet he rarely puts his head down and steam rolls some motherfuckers.  I hate seeing a big ass dude get taken down at the knees.  Now Barber, this dude is a workhorse.  You have to get three guys on his ass just to have a chance of taking him down.  This is a man I'd love to break bread with.

Well, of course the Cowboys and all their motherfucking bandwagon fans are celebrating the night away.  Good for you, you motherless cunts.  Good for fucking you.

Nothing will be sweeter than having the Packers take the Cowboys down next week, particularly after their late-season game last year.  Revenge is a dish best served when the Cowboys are sucking my cock.

CategoriesSports Reviews