My first post. Nice and controversial. Hey, I'm Casey Cupcakes. And if this blog doesn't lay it out plain and simple, well...

I enjoy being a slut

And I also enjoy being a bleeding-heart liberal, 20-something female living in California.

...Which brings me to my next point. Because of the fact that all Planned Parenthood locations are notorious for long waits, I avoided even a mere attempt at making an appointment for my latest, erm, health scare, and jumped right into mass texting every liberal chick in my phonebook, because surely, one of those hookers would have the answer to my prayers. Why? Because Planned Parenthood is so ON THEIR SHIT, they send everyone home with a lifetime supply of condoms and birth control packets after each visit, just to be "sure." To my relief, they also dole out extra servings of the Plan B pill like a side of steaming mashed potatoes, whether you ask for it or not.... which means that shit is available on the slutty black market 24/7.

...Which brings me to my next point. Thank you, state of California, for allowing Planned Parenthood (and local drugstores, if you want to spend $45) to dole out extra boxes of the Plan B pill like a side of steaming mashed potatoes. A glorious, steaming side of potatoes that will magically remove any and all traces of satan spawn clinging for life on the inside of my irresponsible (albeit a smidge tipsy) and wretched uterus. All in a day's work.

And lastly, thank you dear Planned Parenthood, for thanklessly looking out for the futures of hussies everywhere, and for reminding me that even though I spread my legs, I don't have to lift a finger.