Are you feeling stressed, depressed, and lonely, but afraid to try the pills that Hedonism bot knows what's up.

are advertised to you on television? Are you feeling sad about something that you could change if only you were a little less moral? Are you tired of being less than you could be? Do you want to stop caring about people who offer you nothing in exchange for your friendship? If so, you may want to try hedonism.

What is Hedonism?

Hedonism is a theory of ethics that believes that pleasure is the most important thing. That means that you should do things that make you happy. It’s really quite easy to follow. If it makes you happy, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t do it.  Always seek happiness and pleasure. Always minimize pain. That doesn’t sound bad, does it?

Why Hedonism?

Jefferson is watching you.

The best answer to why you should be a hedonist is why not? There’s nothing to lose from always trying to make yourself happy. After all, isn’t that what our forefathers fought for? If you read the Declaration of Independence, you’ll see that America was founded on the idea of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. All hedonism wants is for you to pursue happiness. And don’t you want to make Thomas Jefferson happy? You do. Trust me. Hedonism is basically the counter-emo.


But, you’ve heard that hedonism is a selfish practice that ignores the feelings of other people in order to focus on yourself? Well, that’s not necessarily true, unless you get some sort of pleasure in harming others and making people upset. If you do, you’re what they refer to as a sadist, and you might want to seek psychological help. The truth of the matter is, most people get happy when other people get happy. Hedonism, while focusing on the self, doesn’t stop you from helping out other people or caring for them. You just need to always place yourself as your number one. That’s not a bad thing. You can even choose to reduce your overall happiness to increase someone else’s happiness for a time. ..if it’ll make you happier in the long run. And it might.


Hedonism is an easy theory, but difficult to master. Let’s say you want to get drunk, but it’s your significant other’s birthday, and you might ruin the fun. You have to weigh the pleasure of getting drunk against the lack of sex and relationship drama that will be a result from it. By determining values for these things, you can then decide whether or not to take the action. Getting drunk will be +3 pleasure points. Lack of sex is -3 pleasure points. Relationship drama is another -3 pleasure points. The net result is -3, so you probably shouldn’t get drunk. This is known as Hedonic calculus. There are also things to consider, such as how long the pleasure and pain will last. Relationship drama will last a lot longer than drunken pleasure. You need to keep that in mind.

So, if you’re unhappy, you should realize that there’s nothing stopping you from being happy. You have the whole world in your hands. You just need to think about yourself, and what you can do to make your life better…and then do it. Are you in a bad relationship? End it and work on yourself. Do you have a crappy job? Go to school, get some skills, and get a better one. These things will increase your happiness and make Thomas Jefferson proud.