The United States of America is supposed to be the best at everything, but we still fail at so much. One of our largest failures has been in health care. American health care is almost as much of a joke as American education. Since Congress is filled with rich people who never have to worry about health care, it isn't surprising that they'll argue about it nonstop. In the meantime, I’ve already come up with the perfect solution.


Why do rich people decide on health care anyway?
Why do rich people decide on health care anyway?

Let’s start with an exercise in logic. If the best things in life are free and health care is one of the best things in life, then health care should be free.  It seems obvious that any citizen in the best country in the world should have access to necessary medical treatments. After all, the Declaration of Independence tells us that we have the right to life. Without good health care, your life ends a lot quicker. It seems to follow that the first step to good health care is to make it free.

Insurance Companies

There are two problems with free health care. The first is insurance companies. Republicans care more about insurance companies than poor people's health. Sure, a lot of people will lose their jobs if insurance companies all go out of business, but there’s a solution to that. After we’ve made health care free, we’ll no longer need insurance companies. What we will need is people to administer the government program for free health care. The unemployed people from the insurance companies can all get jobs administering government health care.


Old school doctors.
Old school doctors.

The second problem with free health care is paying off doctors. We’ll solve this in three ways. First, education for doctors will be free. If you want to work in health care, you don’t have to pay for the college. This will save future doctors lots of money and simultaneously increase the amount of people who will want to become doctors.  Second, we’ll pay them a reasonable amount of money per year. Yes, taxes will go up, but considering that no other country pays as much in health care as Americans, there will still be a net gain to income. Lastly, doctors will again become prestigious. People will trust them since they won’t give treatments just to get insurance pay outs. Which means they’ll be able to bang anyone they want. Just like the good old days.

See? A perfect solution. Everyone will get free health care, employment will go up, and doctors will become trustworthy once again. Plus, there will always be plastic surgery for doctors who want to make money by screwing their patients.

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