Friday the 13th 2009
When I went to see Friday the 13th, I had no idea what to expect other than a guy in a hockey mask with a machete. Actually, I really didn't care either. All I was thinking was "Great, another remake. How original." But they made it work.

The opening montage gave a brief history of what happened at Camp Crystal Lake with a grief driven Mrs. Voorhees' taking her revenge for Jason's demise out on the camp counselors using the favored machete. Cut to twenty years later, a group of carefree and horny twenty-something's in search of a legendary cash crop of marijuana plants accidentally stumbles across the broken down camp and its current occupant. Some unspecified time goes by and another group of twenty-something's show up in Crystal Lake for a weekend of debauchery. This group of young people also run into Clay (Jared Padalecki) passing out flyers and being a menace to Crystal Lake's local law enforcement by insisting that his sister would never have just taken off. The film ends with a sort of cliffhanger in which your imagination is left to wonder what happened.

Jared Padalecki as Clay in Friday the 13th

I have to admit the only reason I wanted to see this film was for Jared Padalecki. Jared in an extremely tight t-shirt was worth all the chopping and gratuitous sex. Now I know that the formula for the slasher genre includes lots of blood, gore and is sprinkled with a generous helping of bare breasted young women and lots and lots of sex, but come on! After the first fifteen minute long scene of sexcapades was a second fifteen minute scene really necessary? Then there was the stoned redneck hick with a penchant for skin mags and an unhealthy relationship with the mannequin in the barn attic. Thankfully Jason intervened before that situation became scarred into my brain. Also, how stupid does a girl have to be when, after running for her life, shows up to warn everyone about Jason, she's told that her boyfriend and the slut of the group are "in the bedroom"? Instead of connecting the dots, she has go bang on the bedroom door, screaming about the psycho outside, while he's busy banging something else. Hello! Then the boyfriend has the nerve to get offended that she ran off with the hot, hot, hot stranger. I cheered when Trent got chopped. Out of all of the chop-ees, he was the one that really deserved to die.

Even though I'm an admitted eye-coverer, I had a good time. The audience was loud and rambunctious which also added to the fun so you weren't the only one yelling "Don't follow the creepy, masked guy with the decapitated corpse slung over his shoulder, you idiots!"

AuthorBTH Staff
CategoriesMovie Reviews