I finally caught Role Models starring Paul Rudd, Sean William Scott, and Elizabeth Banks the other day. I'm lagging, I know. Anyway, if you're looking for a review, you ain't gonna find one here, but RMTC did a superb job reviewing it and you can find that review here. So I'm not really even gonna bother...

Fuck All Y'all Motherfuckers!

Instead I'm gonna talk (translation = rant) about my lame ass movie going experience.

Before I go any further, I'd like to make 2 points clear. First, regarding the title of this article...I can't help it, but ever since I watched Can't Hardly Wait way back in '98, anytime, I see, hear, or even think about the phrase "Role Model", Special K's yearbook quote pops in my head. So that what that's all about. Second, for the record, despite being painfully predictable, though as with most comedy's, it's not the destination that counts, but the journey, yes, I liked Role Models. I mean come on, it fucken stars Paul Rudd! If I ever get around to finishing (translation = starting) my Man Crushes article as hinted at in my RocknRolla review, you'll understand the significance of this.

Okay, so not only does it star Paul Rudd, but he's got many of Apatow's supporting players sprinkled in surrounding him. Elizabeth Banks chief among them. Banks herself last seen competing for the same viewers as Role Models (these two films were released a week apart from each other) in the highly Apatowian Zack And Miri Make A Porno.

Role Models was a smart, smart as in witty, and funny film, however you wouldn't know it by the audience in the theater with me that night. Listen, I'm not the type that needs a laugh track in my sitcoms hitting me over the head to tell me when something funny just happened. But this wasn't a sitcom!

Movie going is a communal experience. Communal, as in community. Community as in many people coming together. We go to the movies for many reasons...huge screens, killer sound, and the like, but also for the feeling of having a shared experience. A shared experience that you can then discuss. I mean how many of us go to the movies by ourselves?! Full disclosure time - being the movie buff/film geek/anti-social introvert that I am, I have gone and watched movies in a theater by myself more times than I can count. In fact I went and saw one by myself just last week on Thanksgiving, but I'm an exception, rather than the rule. At any rate, 2 hours in the dark lends itself to a lifetime of social fodder and conversation starters, a lifetime of common ground.

How many countless hours have you spent arguing about movies?! Can't answer that can you? Of course not silly, they're countless remember. Hell you've probably done it in these very pages, or are going to as soon as you're done reading this.

And a theatrical comedy especially is meant to be seen with an audience...unless it's the audience of the 10:00pm showing at the Century 8 in North Hollywood. What a lame fucken bunch of worthless sacks.

You people damn near ruined this movie for me, because instead of being able to enjoy the movie and laugh at all the sardonic humor, I was distracted with thoughts of "what the fuck is wrong with you people, that shit was funny, why aren't you laughing?" Constantly.

You people fucken blow.

Oh sure, they laughed at the board humor, the penis jokes, the curse words, et al. But it wasn't enough to keep me focused. And don't get me started on the asshole that got up and walked out ("what? you're walking out on this? you're just to stupid to get it! good riddance!!")...and then came back a few minutes later, bathroom break I guess. Sure, I overreacted in my head, but that audience cried wolf. It wouldn't have surprised me one bit if someone had walked out that night.

Next time, do us all a favor, stay home and watch another episode of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, or the George Lopez Show.

Anyway, my name's Lenny and that was my rant.

Go see Role Models.

- Lenny