FUCK YOU CHEV FUCKING CHELIOS!!!!
Fuck is a word you hear quite often in this FUCKING AWESOME MOVIE! From beginning to end Crank: High Voltage (co-directed by Neveldine/Taylor) is a non-stop, no holds barred, in your fucking face action fest. Jason Statham puts on one hell of a performance as Chev Chelios as he rips apart L.A. from top to bottom looking for his heart. There is so much pure, unadulterated anger in this movie, it made me want to go kick the fucking living shit out of someone! This movie is the equivalent of taking a bottle of Ritalin then snorting a bunch of coke. Co-directors Neveldine/Taylor have created a true cult classic.
For the uninitiated, Crank: High Voltage is a follow up to the notorious Crank. Although Crank was not one of the most well-received films when it came out, most people who saw it can agree that it was a one of a kind experience. Crank: High Voltage follows in the same vein as the original, but now instead of having to keep his adrenaline level up, Chev Chelios has to keep his body electrically charged, or else he dies. The plot is completely absurd and if you are thinking about it even the tiniest bit, then you are thinking way too much.
I'll admit, as a huge fan of Crank, I was a little hesitant about this movie; making a movie about a man trying to keep his adrenaline level up was just an excuse for non-stop action. I figured there was no way this movie could be any more action packed than the first, right?. Well, I was wrong; DEAD FUCKING WRONG! There is more action in this movie than I knew what to do with. The entire film is just all over the place and literally nothing is off limits. There are hookers with guns, strippers getting shot, giant foam rubber monsters, horse cocks, talking decapitated heads, racism, self mutilation, hearts being removed, peoples nuts getting smashed in, the list goes on. And if any of that stuff sounds remotely interesting to you, then this movie is a must watch.
The cinematography and direction in this movie is incredible. What I like most about it is there is actual stunt work going on; most movies now are just full ofCGI, and I fucking hate CGI bullshit. Neveldine/Taylor were able to take old school stunt work and fuse it together with modern editing techniques to create something completely unique. The editing in this movie is so totally off the wall and crazy it makes your head spin. But what works best about the editing is that it really captures the frazzled state of mind Chev Chelios must be in. Normally editing this frantic would be incredibly annoying but for this movie it really works.
My only complaint with this movie is that when Chev Chelios isn't on screen, the movie just isn't that interesting. There are certain sections that are either about Chelios's girlfriend or Chelios's friend, and during those parts I was just bored. And worst of all, they don't add anything to the whole experience. The only character I truly cared about was Chev himself, so he should have been on screen 100% of the time. But hey, 85% is still pretty good.
Crank: High Voltage is an experience like none other. I know people are going to bash and hate on this movie, but fuck those haters. If you are looking for a fantastically trashy, action filled piece of cinema (that's right I called it cinema) then watch Crank: High Voltage. It's ELECTRIFYING!!!!! (geez I wish I hadn't written that)
Score - 9 out of fucking 10