Through a series of unfortunate events (i.e.: Google posting the incorrect time for The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3), I was left to watch Up. Up is the Walt Disney / Pixar animated adventure, directed by Pete Docter and Bob Peterson (who also wrote the screen play). Old school actors Ed Asner and Christopher Plummer are the main voices of the film. Not sure if I would consider this a kid's film, but being the "adult" I am, it also did not feel like it was for me. Unless you're gay for Pixar, I'd stay away.

Up Movie Poster

Carl Fredricksen (Ed Asner) is swept off his feet at a really early age by his life-long partner, Ellie. We get a really sweet, and then super-sad montage of the couple as they age together, and then Ellie's eventual death, at the beginning of the film. Carl is a balloon salesman, and Ellie's dream (which Carl promised he would accomplish) was for them to move their house on top of a place called Paradise Falls, in South America. Charles Muntz (Christopher Plummer), a rich adventurer/explorer (I'm guessing an allusion to Howard Hughes), is the couple's childhood hero, and traps himself on Paradise Falls, until he can bring back a rare creature he claims to have spotted there.

After Ellie's death, Carl tries to keep his promise by strapping thousands of balloons to the bottom of the house's chimney sweep, and flying it over to Paradise Falls. Obviously, this is extremely plausible. Yea yea, animated movie...suck my dick. On Carl's trip to Paradise Falls, he finds out he is carrying some extra baggage in the form of a young boy, Russell, who is the equivalent to a Boy Scout. Russell helps the story along with various retardness, and they eventually make it to Paradise falls. While there, the unlikely duo have a run-in with Charles Muntz, and the majority of the drama unfolds in the story. Of course, we have to have a happy ending.

Disney is trying to run Uhaul out of business

So where do I begin? We all know the animation was amazing, so there's really no point in getting into that. For certain, I would never want my non-existent children to see this film. There are really no good lessons taught, other than sorrow, death, and to follow your most retarded dreams. Even though it is an animated film, I don't think that gives Pixar the green light to absolutely defy logic, which really bothered me. And even though the music was really beautiful, I hated that they used it to make the audience feel sad while Carl reminisced about Ellie.

Ed Asner has an awesome voice, which I'm sure I could masturbate to, if given the appropriate settings, but it doesn't pull the film out of the gutter. Up simply did not cut it - the story was just too far-fetched, and was not compelling. The best part of the film was the early montage about the couple's life, but everything after that was slow and dull.