Paranormal Activity will give you the chills, and proves again that you can make a good horror flick on a shoestring budget (estimated at a mere $11K). Hardcore horror fans will probably not be drinking the Kool-Aid, but if you’re like me, and don’t watch much horror, it’ll do the trick. There was a definite Blair Witch Project and Cloverfield feel with the non-stop handheld camera work, but much less jittery. With a pretty simple plot, and increasing suspense, you won’t be completely disappointed with Paranormal Activity.

Paranormal Activity Movie Poster

We follow a couple weeks of – get this – paranormal activity that Katie (played by Katie Featherston) and Micah (played by Micah Sloat) experiences in their home. They are a cute, young couple that come off as very normal, with what seems to be a demon haunting them. After some weird shit, Micah decides to buy a camcorder, and high-end audio equipment to track what’s going on. He carries the camera around at all times throughout the house, aside from when it’s on a tri-pod while the couple sleeps.

Katie has had a history of paranormal signs, dating back to when she was eight; they try to figure out what might be the cause of it, so they invite a psychic to speak with them. The psychic’s opinion is that Katie has been dealing with a demon, and refers the couple to work with a demonologist. Micah isn’t sold on the demon option, so he tries to take the matter into his own hands (e.g. a weegie board, online research, putting baby powder on the ground to trace physical steps, etc.). As the experiences get more and more intense, Katie is getting noticeably fed up with Micah’s sarcasm and disbelief (which we needed him so the audience kept their grounding in reality).

Paranormal Activity Bedroom Scene

I loved the authentic feel between the couple, because their chemistry and normal “couple quirks” continued to leave a realistic atmosphere. The acting was unnoticeable; what I mean by that is Katie and Micah’s interactions could have easily been any couple, that wasn’t on film. That being said, I wish more of their life would have been explained, since there were several scenes during the day and at night; how do these 20-somethings afford their nice two story house, without leaving for work? Another thing that bugged me was that, aside from one of Katie’s friends, who comes over to their house twice, neither of them contact other friends or family. I might be a pussy, but you better believe if there’s crazy shit going on at my place, I’m calling daddy.

The R rating comes from language, but there’s no gore, killings or other such “typical” horror features. But what the fuck – Katie has such awesome tits, yet we never get to see them – that’s fucked. The film was successful at freaking you out, with nearly every scare coming from an expected scene, which (to me) is even more impressive than forced screams with shit popping out of nowhere. If you have a vagina, you will be clinging to your armrests and / or boy toy, which makes it a good date movie.

Zombieland is a shit sandwich of fun and laughs. Go see it.

The film stars Jesse Eisenberg, who in my opinion is the rich man’s Michael Cera, and the versatile (not in the gay community sense) Woody Harrelson. I think Woody is underrated, to be honest…there is life after White Men Can’t Jump. Plus a special treat for all the horny teenagers is quite a bit of screen time for Emma Stone; fret not, my fellow perverts – she is 20.

What more do you need beyond over-the-top humor, lots and lots of cool zombie deaths, and a cute leading lady? Shit, not much.

Zombieland Movie Poster

Zombieland takes place in a world where zombies have overtaken the population, with only a handful of living survivors. Of the survivors, we have:

• Columbus (played by Eisenberg) is a young introvert whose lack of social skills is made up for with quick wit and intelligence
• Tallahassee (played by Harrelson) is a bad ass cowboy whose love for killing zombies is only matched by his love for Twinkies
• Wichita (played by Stone) is a young, sexy con artist who mainly can’t be trusted, except if you’re her younger sister
• Little Rock (played by Abigail Breslin, who is slightly less annoying than her Little Miss Sunshine days) is a scared little girl who develops steady aim and seems unphased by killing loads of zombies

Zombieland Scene: Woody Harrelson Killing a Zombie & Jesse Eisenberg Cowering

At first, the four were fighting against each other, but they eventually united when the trust set in. The main driving force was a need for the necessities – food, shelter, sleep – and since wherever the group went, zombies were there, it meant for lots of cool zombie kills. Along the journey, the group stays at “the king’s” house – Bill Murray. They really sucked Murray’s dick pretty hard, with a ten minute scene that was full of praise of his film career. And deservedly so.

We’d all, in one way or another, suck Bill Murray’s dick if the moment should arise.

I’m still waiting, Bill.

Zombieland Movie Image: The Group Deciding to Nut Up or Shut Up

Zombieland ended up being a lot more entertaining and funny than I was anticipating. In my mind, zombie movies are hit or miss, and this was definitely a hit. It was a nice change of pace for a zombie movie to take on a predominantly humorous undertone, as opposed to the shock factor, gore fests in years past. Eisenberg did the voice-over narrations, and you will notice that his delivery and timing are perfect with the scene he’s describing.

There is some gore, but it’s kept within reason, and none of the many (many) deaths were nasty to watch. Eisenberg’s quirky, uncomfortable humor and Harrelson’s tough guy shell were a nice match. A great movie for any occasion, so long as you’re not looking to think too hard, and want to have some fun.

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Yojimbo is the 1961 samurai classic from Akira Kurosawa. Toshiro Mifune plays the baddest badass samurai of all time, Sanjuro. Here’s a small glimpse of how amazingly badass our samurai is, with one of his many brilliant one-liners:

I’m not dying yet. I have to kill quite a few men first.