I don't hate watch very many shows. In fact, Girls might be the only one. And every time I endure another episode, I ask myself: What am I doing this all for? I wonder if I'm masochistic enough to watch the impending third season after all that Lena Duham has tarnished for me. Five items of which you can read below. It's forced comedic banter like this that makes me sometimes feel like I'm watching Full House.

5) Jewel: Can I ever listen to “Hands” again? No. It just reminds me of her and that accursed scene from Season One where she's listening to it in her car.

http://youtu.be/AfsS3pIDBfw

4) Kanye West and Daft Punk: I am forever haunted by Marnie’s acapella version of "Harder, Better, Faster Stronger."

http://youtu.be/68cmKBbE_gc

3) Q-tips: I have post-traumatic stress syndrome from watching Dunham penetrate too far past the ear drum.

http://youtu.be/uqIXqIOx-Fw

2) Donald Glover: Why’d you do it Childish Gambino? Why? We all know you would never have sex with Lena Dunham in real life.

As if.

1) Greenpoint, Williamsburg and surrounding Brooklyn areas: Now, everything is tainted with her presence—from Spoonbill and Sugartown to Café Grumpy.

Contaminating Spoonbill and Sugartown.

With the advent of Season Three, there will invariably be a plethora of other cringe-worthy elements to torment my existence. If this is the Sex and the City of the current generation, I want desperately to return to a former era--even if it means Giuliani as mayor. Or perhaps I should just settle on The Carrie Diaries as some sort of solution to my need for female-centric programming.

 

 

 

This week on Burn Notice Michael meets an old foe named Brennen (played by Jay Karnes), an arms dealer with a grudge. He isn't alone though, he brought a notorious serial killer with him and has decided to 'kidnap' Michael brother, Nate. The setup is pretty clear, if Michael doesn't do exactly what Brennen says, he'll kill both Nate and Michael. What he requires Michael to do is steal several items; a memory chip in a secure building, the voice of a gun nut, and a mystery box from yet another secure building.

'End Run' was by far the worst episode of Burn Notice I’ve ever seen. Its not bad enough the Brennen isn’t intimidating in the least bit, but the entire episode has Michael going around fucking with average, normal people. There really isn't a bad guy per-se in this episode. Burn Notice has always been a show about wits, not action. So when Michael isn’t matching wits with anyone the show seems pointless. It’s like if Arnold Schwarzenegger made a movie about beating up retarded people, it’s just an unfair fight.

Michael Weston, AKA Macguyver 2.0

I will say the last ten or so minutes of the episode was decent. My complaint with the ending is the way Michael eventually defeated the Brennen. He just kind of walks away with out a real fight and it's very anti-climactic. But as bad as this episode  was there were some slightly enjoyable moments. Michael acting like an inept, drunk janitor was really funny. And hearing him talk ignorantly about guns to a gun nut was also really funny.

Another complaint I had was with the story involving Paxton (played by Moon Bloodgood). What the hell is she supposed to be doing? She just walks in at random times trying to one-up Michael but Michael always ends up fooling and outsmarting her. Then 20 minutes later she returns only to get fooled by Michael yet again. She is retarded and useless. But she is better looking than Fiona, so I'm willing to give her another chance to get more interesting.

This episode was bad. Really bad. Burn Notice is better than this. Since the season premiere there have been 3 episodes and 2 of them were pretty stupid. If the show continues down this road then it may be the end soon.

Score - 4/10

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AuthorMojammad

This week on Burn Notice Michael helps a separated married couple get their child back from a kidnapper. The problem is the kid has already seen his kidnappers face, so the kid has to die. Michael decides the best approach would be to use a technique called reverse interrogation to find out where the bad man is hiding the kid. What happens is Michael pretends to be someone who knows something about the kidnapping/diamond heist. Sam arranges the kidnapper and Michael to be in the same room so the kidnapper can ask some questions to this mystery man who seems to know too much about his personal business. Genius? Yes. Classic Burn Notice? Yes!

'Questions and Answers' was great! It’s hilarious, clever, and extremely well written. Every character has a fair amount of screen time and some a lot of great character moments. Bruce Campbell and Jeffery Donovan have such great chemistry as Sam and Michael. The way they completely play the kidnapper is so great, so genius, and very entertaining. Michael is hilarious as a junkie, but Bruce Campbell steals the show as Sam playing a crooked cop. The ending is dark, twisted, and hilarious, it had me in stitches. Let’s just say a Mexican stand off goes horribly wrong.

There were some complaints I had. The main one being the serialized main story about Michael getting burned was rather uninteresting. A new female detective character who is trying to expose Micheal for what he is wasn’t very interesting, and for the most part was very forgettable. It’s obvious she is going to be future episodes so maybe the writers are just taking their time developing her character. Regardless, she was only is like 5 minutes of the whole episode, so who really cares about her?

Overall this was a fantastic episode of Burn Notice. I’m glad to see the writing, directing, and acting are as great as ever. The writers especially are absolute geniuses. They always seem to have a fresh spin on old ideas, even something as simple as a kidnapping. I love this show!

If there is one show on TV you MUST watch, it’s Burn Notice.

Score – 9/10

His name is Michael Weston, he used to be a spy. See, spies don’t get fired, they get burned. And when you’re burned you have nothing; no cash, no credit history, no employment history, and you’re stuck in whatever city your agency decides to dump you in (Miami in this case). To make money you take odd jobs and use your special ops training to right the wrongs of the world and fight for the little guy. Welcome, to the world of Burn Notice. Burn Notice is a fantastic show and one of my most favorite shows currently on TV. It’s slick, clever, action-packed, and very funny. After two incredible seasons I was starting to fear the show may lose steam. After watching the third season premiere I can safely say, ‘I was sort of right’. It’s not that the 'Friends and Family' was bad; it was just a bit underwhelming. After ending the second season on such great note I was expecting the third season premiere to blow my mind. But instead it was just another, same old type, of episode following the same story format as the preceding ones. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, it’s just a bit disappointing.

From left to right; Michaels mom, Sam (Ash), Michael, and Fiona

This week on Burn Notice Michael has to deal with his new situation. No longer under the protection of his former employers Michael is now the target of all his former international enemies. After swimming for his life for five miles Michael ends up getting arrested by local cops. An ‘old buddy’ of his springs him out of jail, but only in return for his help. He needs Michael to kidnap a Spanish land tyrant so that he can be returned to his country and be tried in a court of law.

It’s the same old Burn Notice you’ve come to know and love. The story really isn’t anything to write home about; an extraction here, a kidnapping there, Michaels mom complaining, Fiona bitching him out, it’s standard stuff. There are some tense moments, like the rolling meeting Michael has with his target. And Michael's persona as a nervous lawyer was very entertaining. There is a twist near the end which I won’t spoil but it’s fairly obvious, and anyone who watches the show will see it coming. 'Friends and Family' is just standard stuff for this show, it's good but nothing great. But the last five minutes Michael says something that got me pumped for the rest of the season.

Overall, this was an average episode. It was amusing but wasn’t anything the show hasn’t done many times already. The writers could have made a really great premiere, but instead they stuck with the ‘if it aint broke, don’t fix it’ motto. I’m still excited for next week’s episode, but I’m afraid to say I think this is where the show begins to flat line. Not decline, just flat line, become stagnant.

But I hope I'm wrong!

Score – 6.5/10

Sam's Realization - Episode 4.22
Thursday night, May 14th, was the season four Supernatural finale and the fate of the world is now in The Winchesters' hands... literally. Poor Dean has had a lot to deal with during the second half of the season. Sam drinking demon blood in order to beef up his psychic powers, Castiel's sudden aversion to helping Dean stop the apocalypse, the revelation that they had a half-brother that was murdered by ghouls before they could even meet him, being called into the service of the Almighty under false pretenses... why does Dean always have to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders? Even Bobby had to admit that Dean was taking things way too seriously but he was just trying to do what was best for his family.

Then there's Sam. Turning yourself into a vampire just to kick some demon ass? Sam, what is frickin' wrong with you! You totally know better and turning yourself into a monster isn't going to do anyone any good and you know what, you failed! You broke the final seal and almost destroyed your relationship with Dean just because you had to go and be all bad ass just for a vendetta that was already null & void. Dean made it out of hell all in one piece. You just should have left things well enough alone. But no! You had to allow Ruby to pull your strings like some stupid, little puppet and now look what happened. Lucifer is rising and it's all your fault! Thank goodness Dean was there in the nick of time to stab that lying demon whore and get rid of her once and for all. You helped? Yeah, well, if you had listened to Dean in the first place...

What about Castiel, you ask? Poor disillusioned soul. After being sent back to heaven for some serious butt whoopin' and taking over his vessel's body once and for all, he doggedly agreed to help Dean help Sam, but at what cost?

Sam and Dean watch as Lucifer's prison opens - Episode 4.22

Eric Kripke, and the rest of his creative team, have secured themselves a fifth season (possibly a sixth), but what about raising the bar in terms of creative content and emotionally driven plot lines? Sure, there was plenty of drama this season, but not to the extent of previous seasons in which each episode had you clinging at the edge of your seat, screaming in frustration, because you'd have to wait until next week to find out what happened. This season just left you screaming - out of frustration - because it wasn't up to par. My question to Mr. Kripke is "When you created the concept for the show is this really the direction you saw for its future? Is this really the destiny you conceived for Sam and Dean or did you succumb to the networks expectations for viewer-driven storylines instead of trusting your gut?"

I'll keep watching despite my disappointment with the direction of the show. You can't help who you love and my love for The Winchesters' (and Bobby) will have to be enough to sustain me from now until the end of the series.

This week on Family Guy Quagmire gets a cat and Brian fights city hall to get pot legalized in Quahog. As I mentioned in a previous review the Family Guy writing staff are clearly pot loving liberals and in 420 they aren’t afraid to show it. The episode is basically a history lesson on why pot is illegal and the reasons on why is should be legalized. Any pot lover is pretty much going to agree with what Brian has to say and any pot hater is going to disagree. ‘420’ isn’t as a profound of an episode as the writers probably thought it was and it’s probably not going to change anyone’s mind about the current marijuana situation we, as a country, are in. The episode was actually pretty funny though. All the cat jokes in the beginning were hilarious. Maybe they‘ll only be funny to cat owners, but I can tell you that all the jokes they make are absolutely true. Anyone who has had a cat will find it very funny.  Brian eventually gets caught by the police for having a small amount of pot and this is where the episode kind of takes a dip. Brian goes on a crusade to get pot legalized in Quahog and along the way we are treated to a five minute duet from Brian and Stewie. If you enjoy Brian and Stewie songs then you’ll love this part. For me though it went on for FAR too long.  It’s literally five whole minutes of the episode. It was extremely irritating and by the end I said to myself ‘hurry the fuck up!’

Everything is better with a bag of weed

The last half of the episode is about Carter (Lois’s father) trying to get pot re-illegalized again. Carter runs a paper business out of Quahog and the legalization of pot is causing it to fail. Honestly after this point I stopped caring about the story. The jokes on the other hand were very funny. I love how easily coerced Peter was into helping Carter, and his attempts at making an anti-pot ad were hilariously pathetic. The parody of a classic anti-pot ad involving crude drawings, a dog, and the words ‘I can stop at any time’ was also quite hilarious. There are also some really great running gags involving Brian's books ‘Faster Then the Speed of Love’, and a very funny moment where Stewie tries to tell Brian that his book is good enough to be published. Overall this episode was pretty funny. You can tell it was supposed to be a button pusher and was trying to cause some sort of controversy, and in that respect in fails miserably. But it was a funny episode and is definitely a superior one in the large pool of post-cancellation Family Guy episodes.

Score – 7/10

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AuthorMojammad

This week on South Park Cartman leads himself, Ike, Butters, Craig, and a new character Chris Stoli to Somalia where they become pirates. Obviously Cartmans rendition of a pirate is vastly different from what a modern day pirate actually is. Through a series of misunderstandings Cartman shows these Somalian ‘pirates’ what a real pirate is and just how a pirate is supposed to act. Kyle on the other hand feels guilty about Ike’s sudden disappearance because he was the one who convinced Cartman to go to Somalia in the first place. But that part of the episode doesn’t really come into play until the last several minutes and for the most part is forgettable. The real focus of the episode is Cartman and just how unaware he is of everything around him. It’s funny and all, but not anything we haven’t seen hundreds of times already.‘Fat Beard’ really gets back to basics in terms of what South Park humor is like. There is basically one actual joke throughout the whole episode, but it’s told in several different ways. The joke is, Somalian pirates aren’t the pirates people may think they are. Cartman go to Somalia dressed up in full clad pirate suits with eye patchs, peg legs, and all. When he finally comes face to face with the Somalians all he can say is “dude there are no pirates here, just a bunch of black people”.  The funny part is Cartman never really realizes that these guys aren’t the types of pirates he was looking for. Instead he just carries on as if they were old time pirates, and eventually he transforms the Somalians into just that. Oh and Cartman manages to steal a Europeon battleship, which was absolutely hilarious to see.

Eric and his Motley Crew of Pirates

The episode is classic delusional Cartman. Not classic Cartman, classic DELUSIONAL Cartman. Cartman has gone through a lot of changes since the first seasons of the show. First he was just a foul mouthed little boy, and then he was a sadistic and hateful monster, now he’s kind of just a delusional buffoon. It’s sort of weird how he went from being a diabolical genius to a self absorbed delusional idiot. It’s like a complete 180 for the character and I’m not sure if I like it all that much. I mean, it is funny watching Cartman act like a naive idiot, but I really miss his evil side. But hey, times change and people change, even if they are fictional people. Overall ‘Fatbeard’ was an alright episode. Most of the humor rides on you already knowing and loving the characters involved. They act the way you think they would act and do the things you think they would do.  There is nothing here to take you by surprise and shock you. But it’s all in good fun and it did make me laugh several times. The problem I had is there was no real conflict in the whole thing.

Score – 6/10

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AuthorMojammad

I don't quite know where the inspiration for 'Pinewood Derby' came from. If it's a movie parody, I don't know what movie it's supposed to be mocking. If it's a social commentary, I'm not quite sure what the topic is supposed to be. Maybe Trey Parker and Matt Stone just felt like making a stupid episode. Either way 'Pinewood Derby' was about half amusing, half funny, and half retarded. This week on South Park Randy and Stan enter the Pinewood Derby, a competition where father and son build a small model race car and race it down an incline. The catch is they are only allowed to use the materials provided to them in the official Pinewood Derby kit. Randy of course breaks the rules and inadvertently creates a car that is able to travel at warp speed. After his car shoots off into space an alien named Baby-Farks Mcgee spots it and decides to take the town of South Park hostage. Confused yet?

Don't worry, I was also. Again, I'm not really sure where the inspiration for this episode came from. It seems more like a mishmash of idea's, and in the end I felt like I was watching an episode of Robot Chicken rather than an episode of South Park.

Baby-Farks Mcgee................what the fuck is a Baby-Farks Mcgee?

Thankfully the second half of the episode is at least sort-of funny. The town comes into possession of a few million 'space dollars'. They end up sharing it with the rest of the world while at the same time trying to hide all the money from the 'space police' so they can avoid 'space jail'. After all of that happens.........well, if you have been reading my articles up to this point you would know that I hate spoilers, so I won't spoil the rest of the episode for anyone. I'll just say that the episode ends on a fairly satisfying note and Randy and the rest of the earth gets whats coming to them. Except for Finland, poor poor Finland.

But that's not to say the 'Pinewood Derby' has zero laughs. This is a Randy-centric episode so there are at least a couple funny parts. Just watching Randy act in his over-the-top ignorant ways was funny enough to save the episode. I just wish there was more substance to the whole thing. It seemed like Randy just said the kind of things you would expect him to say instead of saying something to really truly shock you. I guess after twelve seasons of being on the air the shock factor can start to wear off.

Overall this was a sub-par episode. It's heart was in the right place, just not its brain. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are better than this, but they have done worse.

Score - 5/10

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This week on South Park Cartman and Jimmy team up to create the best joke of all time, a joke so funny Carlos Mencia ends up stealing it. An enraged Cartman tries to get property of his joke back but Jimmy isn't too sure about how much Cartman really helped with creation of the joke. Also Kanye West just doesn't seem to get the joke at all and he goes to great lengths to find out exactly why people think he's a 'gay fish'. Half of 'Fishsticks' presents a classic sitcom scenario, something I like to call 'the distorted story'. '. It was funny when Full House did it, it was funny when Fresh Prince did it, and it's funny when South Park does it. Basically Jimmy asks Cartman several times what actually happened the day they created the joke. Cartman's rendition of the story is wildy distorted. In one version he ends up killing a dragon, killing jewbots, then immediately afterwards helps Jimmy write the funniest joke of all time, all while everyone else around him claims he's not fat. This is definitely the stronger half of the episode cause it's filled with more great character moments from Jimmy and Cartman. I've always loved how the boys never really acknowledge Jimmy's retardation. To them he's just another kid.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Kanye West, "Genius"

The other half of the episode is one long jab at Kanye West and the size of his ego. He claims over and over again that he is a genius but he can't seem to grasp the punch line of this joke. This half the episode is fairly amusing but definitely has way too much screen time. It falls flat about half way through and all you can say to yourself is 'Jesus I get it already, Kanye West is retarted'.

Kanye West ends up confronting Jimmy and Cartman about the origin of this joke. I don't want to spoil the rest for anyone who hasn't seen it, so I wont. I'll just say that Cartman's monologue at the end is classic, delusional Cartman. And Kanye West ends up living in the ocean with the other gay fish. The ending also has a hilarious parody of Kanye West songs.

Overall this was a decent episode. Far from the best, but also far from the worst. The only thing I have left to say is, do you like fishsticks?

Score - 6.5/10

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AuthorMojammad

After 20 years on the air The Simpsons is finally getting canned! All I can say is it's about damn time.

Time to say good bye to Simpsons and Co.

Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie have provided us with sometimes great, sometimes brilliant, sometime not so great, and sometimes downright terrible entertainment. It's no mystery to most Simpsons' fans that the show has hit rock bottom in terms of humor and entertainment. As an avid Simpsons' fan myself this used to be a show that I was not able to live without, but now it has become a show I can barley muster up the strength to watch. Apparently Matt Groening now feels the same way. Mr. Groening has been quoted saying:

I love these characters to death, but enough is enough. They have been on the air for twenty years now and there no possible situation I could put them in that they haven't already been in many times before. I really think it's time to say good bye to The Simpsons and company.

There is no word yet on when the final episode will air, but word around FOX is it will be within the next two years. It's a very sad day in television but I'm with Mr. Groening, I think its about time for The Simpsons to R.I.P.. I for one could not be happier.

So, who will be replacing The Simpsons on FOX's Sunday prime time spot? Word is it will be none other than FOX's own Seth MacFarlane with yet ANOTHER animated comedy. Family Guy, American Dad!, the forthcoming Cleveland Show, and the soon to be Bear Essentials. Bear Essentials will be about a family of bears living in a post apocalyptic New York City after a nuclear WW3. The plot and setting is a little thin right now but word around FOX is John Goodman will be voicing the lead role of Angus, a racist father bear with a severe drinking and drug problem. The shows aim is to satirize Wall Street, the stock market, and the financial infrastructure of the government. Seth MacFarlane has been quoted saying:

It's Fraiser meets Married with Children.

MacFarlane is now the god of animated comedy.

It's a daunting task to take over the The Simpsons but I for one am looking very forward to Bear Essentials, Seth MacFarlane is a comedic genius. As far as The Simpsons goes, they have worn out their welcome and I'm very glad to finally see them leave.

This week on American Dad! Stan goes missing during a surveillance mission in Colombia, but he returns. Upon his return Francine realizes that she wouldn't be able to move on emotionally if Stan ever really does happen to die. Stan drops the bomb on her that if SHE were to die he already has a back up wife ready for him to marry, his dentist. Meanwhile Steve and Roger become Wheels and the Leg Man, alter ego's of theirs, to find Hayley's ipod shuffle. This was a pretty good episode with two very entertaining story lines. In the Stan/Francine story Stan of course plays the oblivious oaf who doesn't realize how much he's hurting Francine. Whenever she gets upset at him for having a backup wife his only words of comfort to her are 'don't worry about it, you'll be dead'. For her revenge Francine ends up getting herself a backup husband, Stans partner from the CIA Jim. Jim was an amusing character and hearing him sing Marc Anthony 'I need to know' to the ladies was pretty funny, but he's not anyone too memorable. The episode culminates to a showdown between Stan, Francine, Jim, and Stans dentist, in Stans living room.

Jim REALLY likes Francine.

Steve and Roger were hilarious as Wheels and the Legman. It's funny hearing them argue about which television cliche they want to be. They argue about which one of them is the bad cop, which one makes the puns, which one is the hard boiled silent type, and various others. There are also some very funny moments with Steve's friend Barry being interrogated, Klaus and his extreme distaste for puns, and Hayley finally getting her ipod shuffle back. Wheels and the Legman's opening intro was also quite entertaining.

Who the 'f' is Stephen J. Dannell?

There are quite a few oddball moments in 'Wife Insurance', typical American Dad! fare. Stan falls into the worlds biggest fallafel, Jims schlong is oddly censored even though he was in a speed-o, and a midget hooks up with a old woman. There are some jokes don't really fit into the theme of the story, but they were still funny. As long as the jokes are funny all is forgiven. My only complaint is I wish Steve and Roger had more screen time than they did but I guess that would deter time from the Stan/Francine storyline, which was also very good. So again, all is forgiven.

Overall this was a good episode. 'Wife Insurance' has great story lines, funny jokes, odd humor, recurring jokes for long term fans, and some funny character moments. I was thinking thought that it would have been funnier for Francine to get with Stans body double from the CIA, a character we saw in a previous episode. But the episode is good the way it is.

Funny stuff.

Score - 9/10

Posted
AuthorMojammad

Remember back in my review of "The Ring" when I said South Park is starting to suck? Well, I was wrong, DEAD FUCKING WRONG! This weeks episode of South Park not only surpassed my expectations of what a fantastic episode of South Park should be, it propelled the show into a realm of brilliance that is almost impossible to put into words. In short, this is South Park at its absolute best. This week on South Park Randy tries to deal with a troubled economy by encouraging people to stop spending. Kyle is opposed to the idea and leads a rebellion that actually encourages spending. Stan meanwhile goes on a trek to return a Margaritaville margarita maker, and Cartman, well Cartman just wants Grand Theft Auto: China Town Wars. I know it's blatant product placement but this is South Park, so I don't give a damn. Kyle ends up making the ultimate sacrifice and, well if I said anymore I would be getting into spoiler territory, and I hate spoilers.

Can you guess who that is on the far right?

The way Trey Parker juxtaposes the troubled economy with a biblical story is a pure stroke of brilliance. The overall joke in "Margaritaville" seemed to be that people treat the economy as if it were a god of some sort, which is absolutly true. In the words of Kyle Brofloski "The economy isn't real, and yet it is real". This episode makes you realize the economy only has as much power as you let it have. Stan's story also makes you realize the inane complexity of the infrastucture of our financial system. And the way the goverment decides how to fix financial matters is, again, a pure stroke of briliance. There is also a great jab at Barack Obama.

Kyle makes the ultimate sacrifice.

Along with the hilarious jokes, "Margaritaville" also has a wealth of great character moments. It's always great to see Randy blow things out of proportion. Cartman again is as whiny, racist, and hilaroius as ever. Stan and Kyle are once again the voice of reason in a situation that seems to be spiraling out of control. And this episode features the return of the popular line "THEY TOOK'R JEBS!" "DAKA DERRR"! I just can't enough good things about "Margaritaville". I could sit here forever and try to explain to you how fantastic and brilliant this episode is, but it has to be seen to be believed. It also helps that the writing is top notch. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are master story tellers.

So what are you waiting for? Go to www.southparkstudios.com right now and watch "Margaritaville".

Score - 845 / 10

Real score - 10/10

Absolutlely brilliant!

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AuthorMojammad
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The economy must really be in the shitter because Trump is back to host a new season of The Celebrity Apprentice (what, you actually think he likes doing this?). Apparently even his comb-over is held down with credit card debt. At first glance, the celebrity guests look pretty promising: Joan Rivers and Dennis Rodman? That's more than enough to make me watch. But lets look at the full lineup:

CONTESTANTS

Clint Black, country music star
Claudia Jordan, Deal or No Deal Model
Tom Green, funny man and uni-baller
Jesse James, motorcycle man, TV star, and husband of Sandra Bullock
Dennis Rodman, NBA star and crazy man
Tionne Watlkins aka TLC's T-Boz
Natalie Gulbis, golf champion
Annie Duke, Poker Champion
Joan Rivers, comedian, TV personality, and plastic surgery victim
Melissa Rivers, TV personality, plastic surgery victim, and Joan River's great-great-great grand-daughter
Brian McKnight, R&B star
Brande Roderick, Playboy playmate
Scott Hamilton, master figure skater and uni-baller
Herschel Walker, former NFL star
Andrew Dice Clay, comedian
Khloe Kardashian, reality star

LEAN WIT IT, TRUMP WIT IT

Starting off the premiere episode, Trump decides to speak to the contestants for the first time of the season on the USS Intrepid, an aircraft carrier hovering on the New York Bay. You couldn't have just met them at a Starbucks? Okay, okay, I get it. You're Donald Trump. You have your own vodka, your own meat, and apparently some real estate somewhere, or something. You're also quite the trickster, Mr. T, because after setting such a stern tone on that aircraft carrier you tell the celebrities that their first challenge is to sell nothing other then...cupcakes? As Trump was giving the news I could tell from Tom Green's face that he had hoped for the first task to be "putting your bums on things." Putting your bum on things for charity? Screw walking. I want to put my dirty buttox on some asshole's sparkling Porsche 911 to support breast cancer research. But back to the show...

The task is to bake cupcakes and then peddle them on the street. Whichever team makes the most money wins. Sounds simple doesn't it? NBC, being the liberal, progressive network that it is, has the girls and boys separate and create two single-gender teams. Traveling to the female side, Joan Rivers decides to be project manager for the women's team, simply because she is the oldest. "I'm the only one there without a tampon in my pocketbook," she forces out of her tightly sealed mouth. They pick a team name, "Athena," which, from my knowledge, is the god of menustration. Over on the men's team, Herschel Walker chooses to be project manager and suggests "Kotu" as a team name, which I believe in old Japanese means "flaming gay."

You're so Fucking Fired

The two teams have to decide their selling locations. Joan Rivers gets knocked down by card hustler Annie Duke, Annie telling Joan that the selling location she proposes is a bad idea. Joan tells Annie that her location is best because "I am the wisest. I used to walk the earth with the brontosauruses." Joan then gives Annie an intense look of hatred, which Joan later confirms in an interview with the crew that "I was trying to smile, but nowadays I'm lucky if I even get a twitch."

Oh, how it is fine entertainment watching the rich and famous fail at something you learn in your high school home ec class. Someone on the women's team (I don't want to name drop, but NATALIE GULBIS) screwed up baking the chocolate cupcakes, making them collapse into themselves while in the oven. The women decide to cover up the mess by calling them "chocolate bombs." Even more pitiful and on the men's side, someone forgot to include the sugar in the cupcakes. Smart one, guys. Did you even put flour in it? We'll see...

The hustle and bustle sales on the street is the same as usual on The Celebrity Apprentice...contestants bring in rich friends, Joan Rivers gets arrested for psychologically abusing a five year old, and Dennis Rodman stays inside the sales van playing a PSP with his pants off.

The women end up winning by a a fairly small margin and Joan's charity now gets some money. Her charity? Making sure disabled people get dinner. Hmm. You couldn't have picked something more serious like AIDS in Africa? Or Mothers Against Necking?

BOARDROOM

Delicious Cupcakes

Although most men think project manger Herschel Walker should be fired simply because he's team leader, Jesse James thinks Dennis should be fired for sitting in the truck the whole time. Dennis stuttered out a response but it was basically indistinguishable. Something about a goose and a refrigerator. Or maybe a fireworks show? This show needs subtitles for this guy. Trump makes Herschel bring two people in. Herschel brings in Rodman and Clay.

Clay says he's willing to quit and drop out of the show because he doesn't like cupcakes. Trump doesn't like this. After the group takes a round of shots of Trump Vodka, Trump tells Andrew Dice Clay "You're hired. Wait, whoops that's an F on the cue card. Andrew, you're fired." Trump and Clay exchange thank you's (why, again?) and Clay rides the elevator down and hops in the cab. "West forty-third street. Happy hour table dance specials at Cheetahs Club. And step on it," he tells the driver. He then lights a cigarette and mumbles to the window.

SHOW VERDICT

Most of the contestants were pretty chill and non-dramatic. This is going to have to change. We're going to need to see some fist-fights and grammar school namecalling. I want to see Joan River's face melt to the ground from Dennis Rodman's fire breath. I want to see Khloe Kardishians slice off Tom Green's remaining testicle. Hopefully future episodes with contain such moral desolation. The Celebrity Apprentice Season 2 kicks off slightly dull, yet it's still entertaining. Hopefully it will only get better as the contestants simply get sicker and sicker of each other as the weeks continue.

Posted
AuthorAustin Rafter

Bring it, Bitches!

Note: Rather than post two reviews and hope that fans and non-fans alike will actually seek out two opinions, we decided to put ours together... Well actually, we vehemently disagree and Psych graciously allowed me to tear into his backward Penis logic maturely, graciously and uncensored.   Reporting for duty in bold red font…Spazarella

This will undoubtedly destroy all my nerd-cred YEP, but the truth must be told. Now that we're at the end of Battlestar Galactica I can finally make a proper judgment on it. It sucks. YOU SUCK DOODY HEAD! It has always sucked. NOT! From the beginning and straight through the ending. Battlestar Galactica, or BSG for short, is a show on Sci-Fi that has been around since 2004. The last episode of this four season waste of time aired yesterday, which is something I think everyone is pretty happy about. WHATEVER!!!  I CREAM FOR THIS SHOW.  YOU SHOULD BE SO COOL!

The new Battlestar Galactica, created by Ron Moore, is a re-imagined version of the television series that aired in 1978. I never watched the old one, and I can't make any comparisons. The new series begins in the future, with a highly advanced civilization of humans. These humans are then mostly wiped out by robots known as Cylons WHO WERE CREATED BY HUMANS AND MERCIFULLY BANISHED VIA TREATY TO THE FAR REACHES OF SPACE AFTER A WAR BETWIXT THE TWO CIVILIZATIONS . All that remains of the human race AFTER A GLOBAL SCALE NUCLEAR ATTACK is about 40,000 people, and a couple of space ships. The rest of the story is about the conflict between the humans and the Cylons that are hunting them. Sounds cool, right?  HELL YEAH! Robots, space ships, and war are all good things. So why does it suck?  DOES NOT!…DODDY HEAD.

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BSG is a show about characters and character development. The purpose of the show is to make you feel what the characters are feeling: to feel pleasure in their success, and pain in their losses. What this really accomplishes is a whole lot of boredom.  THAT IS IF YOU FIND THE HUMAN CONDITION, IT’S FRAILTY, THE QUEST FOR DIVINE TRUTH AND THE ENDURANCE OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT BORING, UNLIKE MYSELF.

BSG centers around the crew of the Battlestar Galactica, which is the only military ship left after the explosion of the twelve colonies where the humans lived. This isn't a bad thing. Military people are far more interesting than normal people IN SPACE WARS ANYWAY. After all, their actions determine the future of the human race. But, the crew is mostly made up of a bunch of weak individuals, who experience continuous bouts of being Emo. Hint: having your planet blown up and being chased by blood thirsty robots is not a reason to be Emo. It's a reason to pick up your gun and kick some ass.  GEE, CALL ME NUTS BUT IF MY WHOLE FAMILY, CIVILIZATION, WAY OF LIFE AND KNOWN EXISTENCE WAS INCINERATED WITHOUT WARNING BEFORE MY VERY EYES I WOULD PROBABLY BE A LITTLE JUSTIFIABLY EMO...AND GET ME A BIG FRACKIN’ GUN.

That isn't really the problem with the show. I can understand why you might be upset about having to run for your life. Occasionally, they even decide to fight back. AND THAT MAKES FOR GOOD TV.  SERVING THE GREATER GOOD BY FIGHTING ONLY WHEN NECESSARY IN ORDER THE HELP PRESERVE WHAT LITTLE IS LEFT OF THE HUMAN RACE, REPRESENTS HUMAN COMPASSION FOR ALL LIVING CREATURES (DEFINING THE PERCEIVED DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MAN AND MACHINE) AND SURVIVE TO SEE ANOTHER EPISODE. The biggest problem with the show is the pacing. The series is four seasons long, and that's completely unnecessary UNLESS OF COURSE YOU TRULY ENJOY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Lots of episodes feature repetition, both within the episode and over a long episode arc BUT HEY AFTER 5 YEARS DON’T YOU NEED TO BE TOLD A FEW THINGS TWICE? There's no reason for Kara Thrace to whine for ten episodes about not knowing who she is. We got it the first time.  BUT STUMBLING UPON YOUR OWN DEAD BODY WOULDN’T FREAK YOU OUT FOR AT LEAST 10 DAYS?...OOOOOK. There's no reason for Colonel Tigh to get drunk in every episode. He has a character flaw. We understand.  HE’S AN ALCOHOLIC DUDE.  IT’S TOUGH TO COMPARTMENTALIZE ADDICTION OR SO I HAVE BEEN TOLD. And, there's no reason for Gaius Baltar to see people in his head all the time...actually, that's hilarious. If that was the whole series, it'd be a lot better.  IT’S A HUGE PLOT POINT AND I HAVE TO STRAIGHT-UP ARGUE FOR THAT ONE…AND IT WORKS…DOODYHEAD.

More like Boringstar Galactica

The show progresses very slowly. Lots of time gets spent on unimportant details, or rather things that you wouldn't really care about that the writers decide to make important. LIKE THE HUMAN STRUGGLE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT MOTIVATED US TO LOVE AND FIGHT AND SURVIVE…BORING SHIT LIKE THAT YOU MEAN?  WOULD YOU PREFER THEY JUST MEASURE THEIR DICKS, HAVE ONE BIG WAR AND GET IT OVER WITH?  SOUNDS LIKE PORN TO ME! The end episodes spend a significant time talking about the character's pasts. The series is about to end. By this point you know a lot about each of the characters. There's no reason to talk about their pasts anymore. It didn't show anything that wasn't already known, and it used time that would have been spent better explaining the loose ends.  I DIDN’T KNOW ANY OF THAT SHIT AND I’VE WATCHED THE SHOW RELIGIOUSLY.  IT WAS RANDOM, I GRANT YOU THAT, BUT FOR A SHOW ABOUT PEOPLE, IT MADE SENSE TO ME.

Speaking of loose ends...we come to the last problem I have with the show. Some things just don't make sense.   TRUE

cylon-evolution* What's the difference between a human and a humanoid Cylon? Seems to me that Cylons aren't actually different from humans, except that sometimes they have super strength.  THEY NEVER SPECIFICALLY EXPLAIN WHICH I THINK JUST LEFT THE DOOR OPEN FOR ALL KINDS OF STUFF, STANDARD TV DEVICE; BUT NOT WORTH GETTING YOUR PANTIES IN A BUNCH. * Why do Cylons only have super strength sometimes? It's a plot device that makes no sense.  AGREED * Why is everyone so dumb? Often times in the show, people show obvious signs that they're about to do something mutinous. The officers know, and they don't bother to stop them.  THE ADMIRAL IS USUALLY IN FAVOR OF THE MUTINOUS BEHAVIOR AND WHO’S GOING TELL THAT GUY NO?  IT’S A SLIPPERY SLOPE BUT I AGREE THAT SOMETIMES IT’S AN OVER USED STORY IN THE SHOW. * When the humans started being friends with the Cylons, why didn't they just return to their home planet?  REMEMBER THAT NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST I WAS TALKING ABOUT?  I’M GOING TO GO WITH THAT…HOWEVER SAM AND THE OTHER CIVIES DID OK…BUT THEIR KIDS MIGHT HAVE THIRD EYES. * Why didn't the Centurions (killer robots), kill their Cylon overlords when they were freed from robotic slavery?  I DON’T THINK REVENGE IS PART OF THEIR PROGRAMMING.  YES, THEY FOUGHT WITH THE HUMANS, BUT THAT WAS FOR LIBERATION. * Why did they have to show two old people having sex?  I BLOCKED THAT OUT DUDE!  UGH! * Why does everyone I know call all robots Cylons? I hate that.  YOU’RE A CYLON, AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE DOODY HEADS.

I've repressed too many memories to remember everything I hate. In short, Battlestar Galacticahas an awesome storyline that is more or less forgotten in order to focus on character development WHICH IS APPEALING TO A PRETTY SUBSTANTIAL AUDIENCE; HENCE HUGE RATINGS, MASSIVE FOLLOWING AND CRITICAL ACCLAIM. The show progresses extremely slowly IF BY SLOWLY, YOU MEAN DELIBERATELY AND WITHOUT TOO MANY EXPLOSIONS. There is very little action for a show that is focusing on a war between two civilizations.  THERE’S A REASON THEY DIDN’T SELL POPCORN, PROGRAMS AND FOAM FINGERS DURING THE TROJAN WAR; SAME SHIT DIFFERENT DAY.  CONTINUOUS FIGHTING IS BORING FOR TV.  GO PLAY VIDEO GAMES IF YOU JUST WANT TO BLOW SHIT UP FOR DAYS. and the characters are all whiners who do stupid things.  THAT’S DRAMA BABY!  YOU WANT PREDICTABLE HAPPY INTELLIGENCE?  SEA WORLD MY FRIEND.  I HEAR THE DOLPHIN SHOW IS KILLER!

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PS: Fuck Helo. We can't kill the Cylons. That's genocide! What the hell do you think they want to do to you? Give you tea and crumpets? Moron.  HIS WHOLE POINT IS BEING THE BIGGER PERSON OR SPECIES AS THE CASE MAY BE.  HUMANS HAVE TO ABILITY TO EXERCISE COMPASSION AND LOVE WITHOUT PROGRAMMING, WHICH THE CYLONS TRY TO RECREATE BUT RARELY UNDERSTAND.

HEY, YOU CAN ALWAYS WATCH THE POWER RANGERS!  THEY JUST KICK THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHER FOR 30 MINUTES AND ALWAYS WIN.  SIMPLE, UNCOMPLICATED AND HOSTILE…SOUNDS RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY.

PPS: The Green Ranger is my favorite. - Psych

Does this look boring to you?  Decide for yourself:

This week on American Dad! Steve tries to win his girlfriend Debbie back from another man named Etan (Snots friend) with an Oceans 11 style caper during Etans Bar Mitzvah. Unfortunately though Steve gets caught and accidentally pins the blame on his best friend Snot. Meanwhile Stan and Francine try to pitch an idea of theirs to a cell phone company. Their story however covers roughly only 2 minutes of the episode and ends up going nowhere. Steve is definitely the central focus for "Bar Mitzvah Shuffle" The episode starts with Debbie realizing Steve is a rather immature person. This realization occurs when Steve has an unhealthy obsession with a fart making machine, a machine that analyzes the fart sounds you laugh at suggest other fart sounds you may find amusing. I wish I had one of these fart making machines. Debbie then meets Snots friend Etan, a cocky, spoiled, and rich Jewish fellow. Steve hatches a plan to steal all of Etans Bar Mitzvah money but ultimately Snot gets blamed for Steves wrong doing and ends up getting in trouble with the three Jewish elders.

Meet "Steves Four"

A large portion of "Bar Mitzvah Shuffle" was a movie parody of Oceans 11. It was entertaining but not particularly funny. Roger is very funny with his alter egos including his latest one, a pool hall hustling wheelman named Lucis Mayweather, I always get a kick out of Rogers alter egos. I also loved how they took a jab at Oceans 12 because I hated that stupid ass movie. Steves friend Toshi also has some good screen time here and he has some pretty good lines. We find out that Toshi is actually haunted by a 12th century shogun warrior. It's a funny joke and I really hope the writers use it again some time in the future. Klaus also has some very funny moments, one in particular with a jellybean cell phone. Probably the weirdest moments were when the camera pulls back to reveal a whole film crew taping the episode that they are currently in. I get the joke that an animated show wouldn't have a film crew, but it's a joke that has been done a thousand time before on other shows, and I feel like American Dad! is better than that.

Jellybean cell phones, who the hell thought of these things?

Now, i'm not Jewish, and this episode was very Jewish heavy. So maybe there were some jokes that flew over my head because I don't really know too much about that particular culture. As far as I know there weren't any jokes that I didn't get but I could be wrong. You may find more enjoyment in this episode if you're Jewish, but again I could be wrong.

Overall this was a decent episode. It was very story heavy and didn't have too many funny moments because so much of the episode relied on being a parody of Oceans 11. And it also didn't help that "Bar Mitzvah Shuffle" was a rather Stan-less and Roger-less episode. Stan and Roger are clearly the funniest characters on the show so when an episode doesn't have either of them a lot of the humor is missing. But hey, maybe it's good to have a break from Stan and Roger every now and then.

Score - 6/10

Posted
AuthorMojammad

This week on Family Guy Lois becomes a news anchor for the FOX network and Peter decides to make his own animated comedy. Unlike the previous few episodes "Fox-y Lady" actually has a decent flow to the story line. The two story lines play off each other and nothing seems out of place or random. That being said both these story lines aren't exactly winners. The Peter story was hilarious but the Lois story had a distinct lack of funny or meaningful jokes. And when you are covering a topic as inane as FOX news the jokes should be ripe for the picking. The episode starts with Peter and his family buying a new HDTV. The FOX network, upon realizing that HD can make a pretty person look ugly, fires one of their formally hot news anchors and replaces her with Lois. FOX then sends Lois to spy on Michal Moore to prove that he is gay. I could keep writing about the Lois/FOX story line but really it's uninteresting. Most of the jokes are just random and have nothing to do with the FOX network. It's mainly just movie parodies and poking  fun at celebrities. Some of the jokes are funny, some of them aren't. The only joke I can really recall in this story line is the hole on the side of Peters head, I don't know why that made me laugh so much.

Too bad they put the hole on the gay side.

The Peter story line is hilarious. Peter teams up with Chris and Meg to make an animated comedy. He and Chris come up with "The Handiquacks", a show about a group of handicapped ducks, and yes it's as stupid as it sounds. Meg throws her two cents in from time to time but of course her ideas are stomped to the ground and crapped on. After getting his friends to voice the characters Peter pitches his pilot to the FOX network. The pilot is hilariously and crudely made and I think it's one of the funniest things Family Guy has done since it's glory days (before it got canceled). There is also a lot of meta/self referential humor in this episode as well. When Peter is pitching the concept of The Handiquacks it seems like he is pitching Family Guy, it's pretty funny.

The Handiquacks, TV's next great animated comedy.

There aren't too many cut-away jokes in "Fox-y Lady". Peter is on an episode of CSI as a dead body and there is a joke about FDR hiring a midget, and that's really about it.

Overall this was a decent episode. But if it wasn't for the Peter story line it would have been pretty awful.

Score- 7/10

Posted
AuthorMojammad

If after Charlie had inherited the Chocolate Factory imagine Willy Wonka had spent a lost weekend in Amsterdam and contracted one or more communicable diseases, what would have transpired? I suggest that in his compromised state, he would  employ the artistic talents of R. Crumb and Fantagraphics and the writing talents of a  privileged 14 year old boy circa 1987 and Da Da!...you would have Superjail! This is not so much the thinking man's comedy as it is the artists blank canvass. And that's the appeal. While most shows concentrate on a balance of visual viscosity and written artistry, this show does nothing of the sort.  Instead,  it takes it's talent and forms it into aluminum knitting needles aimed for the eyes. The art is the spearhead that protrudes and provokes the story. It's an asylum run by the insane with varying agendas to house the ultra-violent and serve as fodder for a variety of unspeakable experiments. In other words, it's like nothing you have ever experienced in any adult-swim format but retains a quality that is still vaguely familiar.  Like a Green Day song.

Where Did This Come From?

Superjail! is like an all-star team in the adult-swim leagues.  I guarantee that if you go to the Augenblick Studios website and check out their past projects you will recognize the contributions they have made to a the animated world at large.  My favorite is in the episodes of Wonder Showzen.  It was the kind of show I would have to watch late at night with the wife and kids sleeping and with the volume turned down like I was watching a pornographic feature.  In other words, it is a guilty pleasure that you share with only the closest of friends. If your Mom walks into the room, quickly change the channel!

What Can You Expect?

Leave your expectations at the door.  Expectations, like traveling to a foreign country, will kill the experience.  While most animated shows borrow from the heavily leveraged situation/comedy format, Superjail! is more a screwball comedy seen through the lenses of a bloody kaleidoscope.  Or An animated mural powered by a V-8 big block engine huffing gold paint for the past 3 days.

The Main Characters:

Voiced by David Wain
Alice Voiced By Christy Karacas
Jared Voiced By Tom Thumb
The Twins Voiced by Richard Mathar
Jailbot

My Favorite Episode:

Reasonably you could make a case for any episode, but my favorite is the pilot entitled "Bunny Love".  Basically, The Warden plans to dress the prisoners in bunny suits, but the Twins interfere with the purchase order, making half of the order wolf suits.  This episode really primes you for the rest of the season and sets the bar for preparing you for the insanity to come.  And I mean that in a good way.

Why You Should Watch It:

There's a reason your video game of choice is GTA IV and your High School Class voted you the "Most Likely to Assassinate A President".

Program Particulars:

Having finished their first season, We are still awaiting to see if they get secured for a second one.  Please contact you local cable provider and/or Cartoon Network to support our generations art endowments. Look for it on Cartoon Network. (15-Minute Episodes)

Exclusive Creator Interviews:

Look for my exclusive interviews with both co-creator Christy Karacas and the lead animator Kristofer Wollinger.

This week on South Park Cartman leads a super secret double life as The Coon, a masked vigilante hero. The only problem is, aside from no one taking him seriously and everyone knowing his true identity, another masked hero named Mysterion is stealing all of The Coons' attention. South Park episodes can be divided into two categories. There are the "serious" episodes that deal with political or social issues, then there are the silly episodes that are about kids acting like kids and having fun. While I do enjoy the "serious" ones I personally prefer the silly episodes because they're just, well they're just funny. This week was definitely a silly episode. It's kind of a mix between a parody of Watchmen and Christopher Nolan's Batman. It's also sort of like the ninja weapons episode, except replace ninjas with superheroes.

Who is The Coon?

The episode starts with an obvious parody of Watchmen. Cartman narrates his own actions in same the noir type style of films like Watchmen and Sin City. In a perfect satire of the over-seriousness of those films Cartman talks about how his town is a "dying whore" and how "where the money goes, the raping starts". After realizing that nobody is taking him seriously Cartman meets Mysterion, another masked hero who wears a hood/cloak combination and has a question mark on his head. Cartman gets pissed that Mysterion is taking all his thunder and takes it upon himself to unmask him, so he turns to Professor Chaos/Butters for help. I won't spoil the climactic end fight for everyone, but rest assured that Professors Chaos' plan is thwarted, Mysterion is unmasked, and peace is finally restored, all thanks to The Coon.

Who is Mysterion?

There aren't really too many jokes per se to be found in "The Coon". There is a joke about Obama and the economy in the beginning but that was about it. Most of the humor in this episode comes from really great character moments, and in a show filled with as many hilarious characters as South Park that's a very good thing. Hearing Cartman whine and complain is always hilarious, Professor Chaos/Butters with his partner General Disarray are as funny and unmenacing as ever, and Mysterion with his gruff voice and dark guise is an amusing parody of what the new Batman is like. The epic final fight was funny in its extreme insignificance, and the big reveal of who Mysterion is is way unexpected and quite original. The humor is only amplified by the soundtrack because it's practically a complete ripoff of The Dark Knight and Batman Begins.

Overall this episode was very good. There wasn't a moment where I bored or didn't care about what was going to happen. It's filled with hilarious character moments and sort of calls to mind the days of old South Park, when the show relied more on characters instead of current events.

Score - 8/10

Posted
AuthorMojammad
2 CommentsPost a comment

david_spade_in_rules_of_engagement_tv_series_wallpaper_1_800

So I normally don’t stray from my music articles, or even my hallowed TV show lineup, but when you hear about a show from someone who is personally on it (and he’s also a well known badass), then I tend to listen. I’m talking of course about comedic superstar Patrick Warburton. When I heard he and David Spade had another project together, I knew that I shouldn’t be worried. This new TV gem I’d like to have shine for you is CBSRules of Engagement.

To break it down for you, the show is about relationships and its many stages brought to light through hilarity. Patrick Warburton (Family Guy’s Joe the cop) and Megyn Price (of Grounded for Life fame) play Jeff and Audrey, the shows veteran married couple. Oliver Hudson (known to most by his 16 episode stint on Dawson’s Creek) and Bianca Kajilch (known mostly for her role as Lisa Grier on Boston Public) play the shows naïve engaged couple; while the single but never lonely role of Russell, is rounded out by David Spade.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

What I immediately loved about the show is that the actors chosen for the roles make it look so easy. This is what happens when you actually take the time as a producer and a writer to make the roles fit to who you select. I won’t name names like Michelle Ryan on The Bionic Woman or anything, but I’m sure you can think of some show that has been castrated David Eick or equivalent.

Speaking of producing and writing, I must also tip my hat to Cheri Tanimura, Barbara Stoll( producers) and Tom Hertz (main writer), who also gave us Spin City (starring Spade as well). Tom’s crown jewel of writing however is Rules of Engagement, probably because it just feels natural. Its situational humor doesn’t seem forced, but rather take it or leave it (and the take it is a pile of fresh Benjamin’s beneath your dream girl), never apologizing. At some points I even was surprised at how intense the script got during the latter half of season 2 and beyond. CBS might just be becoming the new Fox, in all the best ways of course. I took a few quotes from the show to give you a little taste of what made me ROFLcopter and LOLerskate around my bedroom:

Audrey (on sports): I tolerate it because you like it

Jeff: Huh....first time I’ve heard that outside the bedroom

Russell (in line at the theater): Where’ve you been, it’s three minutes till curtain!?

Audrey: Sorry, I had to blow Jeff off

Russell: Well what do you expect, he’s not 18 anymore..

Jeff (at his newly introduced friend): What? I gotta buncha black friends!

Audrey: The Knicks are not your friends.

The third season of this show just started, and airs every Monday at 9:30, and I am now convinced that this show should be included in my rotation along with Heroes. Gunfart asked me if it was like Arrested Development at all, and that’s a fair question. I would say that yes I get similar laughs at watching Rules of Engagement, but the humor isn’t as dark as Arrested Development. I think Warburton might be the only person who could hang with the Bluths.

I definitely think that this show is the known underdog of primetime; being liked a lot…but not loved just yet. I’m here to try and make that step to greatness of course. Patrick Warburton’s dark humor, and David Spade’s wits alone can carry this show, but we also have Megyn Price to feel comfortable with. Oliver and Bianca are for the most part fresh faces in the comedy scene, but I think we will be seeing more of them in the future of comedy.

patrick-in-undies

If you’re looking for something that you and your significant other can watch together and actually get genuine laughs out of, this show might be for you. Who knows, you might actually learn something. For instance, when Mama Blanco and I make a bet and I win; I’ll be parade around in my skivvies, thrusting at her face doing the ‘Jeff Dance’.

Until next time my friends.

~Flak

Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki as Dean and Sam Winchester
Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki as Dean and Sam Winchester

Supernatural fans rejoice as the show returned after its five week hiatus March 12th.  That rejoicing soon turned into groaning as the fandom complained about what transpired between the Winchester Brothers and the direction that the show seems to be heading.

I'm a spoilerphobe. For those who are not familiar with that term, a spoilerphobe is one who does not like to know what is coming up in future episodes. This means I do not read interviews with the cast and crew in which secrets about upcoming episodes are revealed. I feel it's like knowing what your Christmas presents are before opening them on Christmas Day. I also do not watch promotional clips. However, I was tempted when clips for episode 4.15 Death Takes a Holiday circulated the web. Fellow fans kept telling me that I need to watch these clips because they were so good and it made them even more impatient for the new episode. I think I appreciated the episode better by not being spoiled. I was able to watch objectively and to glean a little bit of joy out of it.

Death Takes a Holiday picked up where the show left off before the holiday hiatus episode, Heaven and Hell, with the showdown between angels and demons. Also, Dean is confronted with several truths: Sam is lying and keeping secrets from him, and even though he has been saved from death twice now, Dean still needs to come to terms with there may not be a happily ever after for him and Sam.  

Sam listening to Pamela's revelation in Death Takes a Holiday
Sam listening to Pamela's revelation in Death Takes a Holiday

The best line in the whole episode was while psychic Pamela Barnes lies dying, she whispers in Sam's ear:

 I know what you did to that demon, Sam. I can feel it inside of you. If you think you have good intentions, think again.

Of course, she is referring to Sam going off the reservation by cultivating his demon ability, and a hot and heavy sex life, with Ruby... all behind Dean's back.

This episode is just one in a long line of episodes chronicling the last moments of Sam and Dean's fight against evil. We all know that all good things come to an end, so I just have one thing to stay to the fandom - Supernatural was renewed for a fifth season, so stop all your bellyaching and enjoy what time we have left with the show.  Eric Kripke, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki will appreciate fan support a lot more than fan bitching and moaning. Just sit down, shut up and enjoy it!

All new Supernatural, On the Head of a Pin, airs March 19th on The CW at 9 PM.

Posted
AuthorBTH Staff